Looking Beyond the Fiddle Faddle
“I’m a female woman!”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of “The Goldbergs” from December 3, 2013.
There are practically zero circumstances in life where that statement makes any logical sense…at all.
To add a bit of clarity, here’s a little context: Beverly Goldberg in mall jail.
Mystery solved.
Imagine running a marathon for 26.19 miles and then, for the final 0.01 mile of the race, your brother sweeps in from nowhere to joyfully jog backwards into the finish line to reap all the glory. The frustration one would feel would be off the charts in complete and utter shock. The emotions would be virtually unprecedented. Actually, in this situation, that was exactly the case. Switch in six months of pursuing the grand prize in “Legends of Zelda” in 1980s-something for the marathon and you’ve got Adam and Barry’s most recent brotherly battle.
What’s worse: Adam losing his glorious Zelda finale to his older brother, Barry’s negativity forcing his quick thinking grandfather to lie and deceive him about luck or that Barry wore a ketchup colored shirt to bet on the ponies while eating a hot dog with mustard?
All have the credentials to claim the Exotica.
To fully understand how Beverly Goldberg found herself in the treacherous room known as “mall jail,” the issue of money plus a teenage daughter must first be discussed. What do you get when the savviest shopper of all-time (buy two mattresses, get two free and a $9.99 lawn mower!) gives birth to a daughter who fifteen or sixteen years later gets a job as a cashier at a dynamite department store with an incredible employee discount?
You get a Mom who sets up camp at her embarrassed teenage daughter’s place of employment/place of coolness/”supposed” freedom and independence, a mannequin stolen, but also the incomparable “Clapper.”
After all the clothes and random purchases during just one week, Erica’s boss finally stepped in (but in a totally non-flirtatious way) to subtly tell his newest employee that her Mom had to be cut-off from the discount.
Enter the snow pants.
With a perfectly maniacal plan to deny the discount from her Mother, Erica, with a smile, watched as her Mom “allegedly” tried to steal perfume while also buying snow pants for the same daughter who was willing to send her own Mother down the river…to mall jail.
While all this was happening, “Barry Luck” was providing said brother with a delusional sense of prosperous fortune. Was it real? No. But sometimes it takes an illusion to spark a necessary and magical mindset of confidence. The placebo effect. It’s something grandparents understand and Pops is undoubtedly one of the greats.
The tension between Erica and Beverly, like most things in life, was not really about a massive overuse of an employee discount. It was about big life decisions and what she and her Mom value most. And the reasons for those decisions.
As every family should realize (and the Goldbergs sure did), being a Mom is full-time job that truly brings harmony, stability and a crazily awesome love for her family.
There are times when we need to pause, take a deep breath and understand that people want different things out of life. Knowing what we want out of life, with all the chaos and opportunities around us, is an impressive trait to possess. Whatever that may be, it’s a sign of intelligence, strength and inner serenity.
And if that’s your starting point every morning, then you should consider yourself rich without the need for any discount or “(insert your name here) luck.”
Beverly Goldberg was only in mall jail for 12 minutes. However, it doesn’t take viewers nearly that long to get hilariously excited for each new episode of “The Goldbergs” every Tuesday night at 9:00 p.m. on ABC.
It’s a popular favorite!
P.S. Beverly literally owns “The Clapper.” She literally used it in the best way imaginable!
Acclaim Through Addition
Jupp Heynckes and Pep Guardiola.
These two football coaches have and do pace the sidelines with their own brand of suave, seriousness, calmness, intention and ingenious planning. Heynckes and Guardiola are different men from different countries with different styles and strategy, but are perfectly united by the same ambition and records of epic proportions, past and present.
But what precisely defines a global footballing/soccer champion in the modern era?
This is a fascinating, complex question to ponder, specifically regarding the perception of European football when compared to soccer in the United States. In Major League Soccer (MLS), the four championships/trophies competed for each season are perceived more so as individual conquests than as an all-or-nothing pursuit. It is not unusual for one team to win the Supporters’ Shield and another team to win the MLS Cup. Is it peculiar for one club to hoist the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup trophy, but not the CONCACAF Champions League trophy? No.
Winning the Supporters’ Shield for the most points in the regular season and the MLS Cup is a tremendous achievement (6 times/TBD 18 years), but it is not the expected protocol. As a result, it is greatly celebrated when this occurs. In Europe, though, a legendary feat consists of winning at least three to four trophies, depending on certain qualifications for certain clubs. This could involve the German Cup, the Spanish Super Cup, the UEFA Super Cup, the FIFA Club World Cup, etc. Then, of course, there is the UEFA Champions League. For Europeans and fans around the world, this is their “grandaddy of them all” for club football/soccer.
Remaining in Europe, specifically Munich, Germany, the journey for another record-breaking season is well under way. The pressure is palpable. Fortunately for Guardiola and his men, the 2013/2014 campaign has been victorious with the injection of new formations and style of play. It even bears a striking resemblance to the 2012/2013 club in the standings.
14 games into the 34-game Bundesliga season, Bayern Munich (under Guardiola) is 12-2-0 (W-D-L) with 38 points and a positive goal differential of 25. At the conclusion of the 2012/2013 campaign, Bayern Munich (guided by Heynckes) had earned 91 points from a 29-4-1 record with an insane positive goal differential of 80. A quick calculation postulates a realistic replication of Bundesliga glory for Hollywood FC, considering the fact the team is playing more comfortably and confidently under its new management and head coach with each victory in all of its competitions, most notably the Champions League.
And the latter part of the last paragraph is the key phrase: “…in all competitions.” It seems like, in today’s football/soccer universe, that winning a top league in the world is not complete unless there is a sweeping of all competitions. There exists little oxygen for a league champion or champion of a single tournament to receive the appropriate congratulations and acclaim, unless it’s a one-in-a-million league or tournament kind of run.
In Europe, the requirements (not preferences) for true greatness are the league title, the country’s home tournament/Cup, their version of a Super Cup and the UEFA Champions League. This formula is structured on addition, not +/-. Is this fair? That’s debatable. However, while the standards are extraordinary, the opportunities are equally extraordinary. That’s a reality that’s not all bad for one magnificently unforgettable campaign.
One record-breaking/amazing/storybook/legendary season can elevate a club to eternal glory and prominence of epic proportions. Imagine if this happens two years in a row…or more. But make no mistake about it, it is extremely difficult to achieve such success in a season. The results on (and off) the field need to resemble virtual perfection.
Will Bayern Munich, through the leadership of Pep Guardiola, cap another unforgettable season with arms full of trophies?
That is still several months away from being determined and the challenges looming ahead are undeniably massive and treacherous. However, if they can continue to show an improving expertise in moving 11 men in wonderfully successful fashion and synchronization, then adding a few more prestigious titles to their shelves will seem academic.
Champions do tend to make the extraordinary look easy.
And it’s only at this point when the simple addition of multiple trophies becomes proof of something epic.
Happy Monday!
There are days when we simply need to “remix” a few things. This can be true even for something that is already great in its original form. However, with a special edit, it can rise to a completely new, before unknown level of possibilities and excitement.
Here is the song for such a venture:
Happy Monday!
Finding that Deal in a Haystack
As people try to garner enough strength to overcome the food coma from yesterday in order to build up energy to walk around malls and shoppes today, we are reminded that for the dedicated, savvy shopper, every second counts on this specific day every year. Departing in the early morning hours for destinations at the exact right time and finding that elusive parking space back in the corner can be the difference between joy and sorrow…relatively speaking (mostly).
Well, perhaps this does not ring true for everybody. Still, the deals on Black Friday can be quite spectacular if properly researched, sought out and obtained. For those who actively and excitedly participate in this competitive quest, I wish you good luck and be sure to have a full-tank of gas.
Not only is this practical advice for obvious reasons, but seeing a “full-tank” may inspire that extra “it” factor within yourself that could ultimately turn your Black Friday into a golden one.
Jimmy's Daily Planet 