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Sharks, Dinosaurs & Merlin Walk Into a Time Traveling Bar…

There are no words.

‘Sharknado 6’ will be the final chapter in a movie franchise truly unlike any other we’ve seen. Qualifying as a movie series that’s so bad it’s good–this time combining sharks with dinosaurs with time travel with Merlin wizardry–and you’ve got a certified (SYFY) hit.

To watch all the crazy ridiculousness of ‘Sharknado 6,’ tune in this Sunday, August 19 at 8 p.m. on SYFY.

Shark Shaq Is Coming Soon

Shaq was a basketball beast down low for the Orlando Magic and Los Angeles Lakers back in the day. Today, the same Shaquille O’Neal is going to go down low into an ocean to confront his fear of the only thing that could possibly make him quiver in his size 22 sneakers:

Sharks.

Well played Discovery Channel, well played.

The clever promo deserves praise, as does the added bonus that Shaq is a likeable person to NBA and non-NBA fans alike. He’s accomplished yet funny, personable and intelligent. You just wonder if the Discovery Channel crew will take the ultimate bait by inviting Charles Barkley to be a surprise cameo?

That would be great.

Tune into Shaq Shark Week starting Sunday, July 22 at 8 p.m. on the Discovery Channel.

Jaws Needs the Deep Blue Sea

Have you ever wondered why giant great white sharks (ie-Jaws) aren’t showcased in aquariums?

I’ll help you out with your curiosity.

In addition to the extensively reported video above, let’s not forget about Jaws 3-D (a great white shark swimming inside a Florida SeaWorld) and Deep Blue Sea (attempted the containment of giant great white sharks in the open ocean). Keeping these two fictional realities in mind likely made aquarium owners think twice about bringing in a large great white shark into its custody.

And yes, that’s very likely a true presumption.

Want another legitimate cinematic reference point of caution?

Enter Jurassic Park. As Dr. Ian Malcolm would say, “Life…finds a way.” And it’s not always what you want or expect.

As amazing as it would be to witness a giant great white shark from the comfort of an aquarium, that’s simply not realistic at this moment in time. Beyond being realistic, the safety of the shark and its handlers is priority number one. And this massive undertaking is not safe for both parties involved. It’s simply not worth the risk.

But, on the bright side, giant great white sharks continue to offer us an open invitation to visit them in the comfort of their home: the ocean.

I think I’m still busy that night.

Happy Throwback Thursday!

This is “Shark Week,” which has inspired today’s “Throwback Thursday.”

Sharks are powerfully majestic creatures, though we never want to be swimming in the ocean and see a fin hovering just above the water’s surface. But even as terrifying of a sight as that is, sometimes a story can have a similar effect. The video below is known as one of the greatest monologues in the history of cinema. The setting is rickety old boat, bobbing up and down in the middle of the ocean off the coast of a vacation town in the American northeast.

It’s real. It’s raw. It’s got a real bite to it.

Happy Throwback Thursday!