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Sharks, Dinosaurs & Merlin Walk Into a Time Traveling Bar…

There are no words.

‘Sharknado 6’ will be the final chapter in a movie franchise truly unlike any other we’ve seen. Qualifying as a movie series that’s so bad it’s good–this time combining sharks with dinosaurs with time travel with Merlin wizardry–and you’ve got a certified (SYFY) hit.

To watch all the crazy ridiculousness of ‘Sharknado 6,’ tune in this Sunday, August 19 at 8 p.m. on SYFY.

Pandemonium’s Playground is Open

A tornado unlike anything you’ve ever seen before is coming…

No, not that one. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! will premiere on July 22nd at 9 p.m. ET on the Syfy network.

This tornado is filled with colossal upsets, trending dunks, dancing mascots and buzzer-beaters is finally touching ground in basketball arenas all across the United States today. March Madness, the wildest sports tournament in existence, is tipping off for the final 64 teams after a few teams were required to take an entrance exam for admittance earlier this week. From coast-to-coast, American companies will experience its lowest output for the year.

However, employee excitement levels will be off the charts.

Nobody has figured out an algorithm that is perfectly compatible for this tournament during any given year. That’s probably why sports fans anxiously await this momentous occasion. Any person has a shot at predicting correctly. The rationales for picking Team X or Team Y between Person A and Person B can see a variance as gaping as the Grand Canyon. And more surprising is that logic can and will only determine some of the results. The nature of March Madness is exactly that: madness. Therefore, each person’s bracket needs to have a few major upsets. There should probably be a Cinderella run by a mid-major. Mascot superiority and jersey colors will be determining factors. A few top teams will play exactly as expected. A 16-seed will never win.

As crazy as it reads, I strongly believe that a 16-seeded David will slay a Goliath sometime in the next few to several years. When this happens, the tournament will be deemed certifiably mad.

For some fun, listed below are a few highlights from my bracket:

  • Every Iowa school (#7 Iowa, #3 Iowa State, #5 Northern Iowa) will win at least its first round game
  • #11 The Dayton Flyers will see good fortune playing in Ohio, specifically in nearby Columbus
  • #1 Duke and #2 UVA will meet in the Final Four for an epic ACC clash
  • #7 Wichita State will shock the world and bring the entire state of Kentucky to tears en route to another Final Four
  • #1 Wisconsin v #4 UNC will be must-see television
  • The Arizona Wildcats will officially return to the college basketball summit by winning the 2015 National Championship with Sandra Bullock (“that wildcat behind the wheel”) sitting court side

Jim Nantz: You’re on.

From “Jaws” to…

When something is so bad, it’s good.

This is the undeniable truth regarding the cultural phenomenon known as Sharknado. It swept up audiences into a frenzy like the killer sharks swirling around in the tornadoes0. Written, acted and directed as a cheesy Syfy movie of the week, the combination of sharks (Jaws) and tornadoes (Twister) was too much to resist for people of all ages (suitable for the graphic content, of course). Sharks and tornadoes are eternally fascinating and, thankfully, someone had the genius idea (well, the idea at least) to join these two powerful forces of nature together. Plus, who could resist the father from Home Alone, 90210’s Ian Ziering and Tara Reid fighting off sharks swimming around her house on a hill?

And now, the sequel!

Yes, it’s true. The trailer was recently released for the world to see and, rest assured, it doesn’t disappoint (is that Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath?). My recommendation on how to effectively watch the trailer below after an initial viewing right here at Jimmy’s Daily Planet? Go to 7-11, get your free slurpee from 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. and enjoy the cinematic madness of sharks, tornadoes, Matt Lauer and the subway system in New York City again with a perfect refreshment and care-free attitude.

It’s a suggestion that’s so bad, it’s good.

Ladies and gentlemen, it happened again:

Come July 30th at 9:00 p.m. on the Syfy channel, you know you’re going to watch Sharknado 2: The Second One.

P.S. Clearly, lots of time and resources were spent on the title…

The Two Scariest Words: Dun-Dun

Since I missed the world premiere of, “Sharknado,” tonight’s encore viewing at 7:00 p.m. on the SyFy Channel will give me the opportunity do a full body dip into a world where sharks are swept up into a giant tornado and subsequently scattered throughout the terrified city of Los Angeles.

“Sharknado!”

Few things on this planet can paralyze people like a shark. Actually, few things on this planet can paralyze like the idea of a shark. Pause for a moment and reflect on that sentence…We do not need to visibly see or definitively know a shark is nearby to be struck with fear and for our heart’s to pound right through our bodies. We can all thank the brilliant Steven Spielberg for this.

Oceans are magnificent, full of everlasting mystery and intrigue. Anyone who has swam in the ocean along a coast or at a resort can attest that it’s a refreshing feeling. Most of us do not live by the ocean, so it’s an adventurous luxury. Still, how many of us venture farther than where we can touch our toes to the bottom?

It was about six years ago when my family and I went on vacation to Hawaii. The laid-back state in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is stunningly beautiful with exotic treats and gorgeous women at every turn…Anyways, my sister and I were coaxed into swimming about a quarter-mile into the Ocean by our Dad. Let me put it this way: there was zero chance of our feet touching the bottom.

And why did we explore well beyond the sandy beach? Because our Dad had heard that were whales nearby and he wanted to swim out to try to see them in all their massive glory. It as a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Admittedly, whales were the last thing I was thinking about as we paced further and further from the beach. There was one thing on repeat the entire time in my head and it went like this…

During every single stroke of this watery trek, I was trying my best not to imagine all the creatures that lived in the ocean. I did my absolute best to rationalize that we weren’t really far enough from the beach to see a dorsal fin with a pointed top. I took as many deep breaths as any human being could to remain calm and not panic as I’m swimming with nothing but open water below my gliding body.

And then…

We saw something on the horizon break the ocean’s glassy surface. Looking more closely, it was a gigantic whale and we saw it slowly rise and fall back into the depths of the ocean. It was a majestic sight.

After basking in the glorious event, I quickly coaxed my sister and Dad to turn around and swim back (slowly and calmly) to the beach resort.

More than a decade ago, my family and I were on vacation down-under in Australia. Talk about an amazing country. One night in Darwin, we ate dinner at a wonderful restaurant at the end of a pier, which was about ten feet above the ocean. The food was delicious.

As we were walking back across the pier, my Mom told me to, cautiously, look down. A safe distance from the edge, I gently leaned over and saw the splash she was referring to. Puzzled, I asked her if it was just waves crashing? Why did she want me to see that?

She replied it wasn’t and told me to look more intently. I did and noticed something peering out of the water…it was a dorsal fin of a Great White Shark! Absolutely insane!

Initially, it startled me. Just a second or two later though, I was fascinated and completely in awe.

It’s somewhat mind-boggling how it’s the very idea of a shark, not necessarily the sight of one, that can strike a paralyzing fear and cause out-of-body heart pounding. This dynamic perfectly lends itself to being a superb psychiatric study.

Was there a big shark swimming relatively close to us during our oceanic adventure to see the whale in Hawaii? I have no doubt. And I didn’t have to see a fin for it to scare the hell out of me!