Pandemonium’s Playground is Open

A tornado unlike anything you’ve ever seen before is coming…

No, not that one. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! will premiere on July 22nd at 9 p.m. ET on the Syfy network.

This tornado is filled with colossal upsets, trending dunks, dancing mascots and buzzer-beaters is finally touching ground in basketball arenas all across the United States today. March Madness, the wildest sports tournament in existence, is tipping off for the final 64 teams after a few teams were required to take an entrance exam for admittance earlier this week. From coast-to-coast, American companies will experience its lowest output for the year.

However, employee excitement levels will be off the charts.

Nobody has figured out an algorithm that is perfectly compatible for this tournament during any given year. That’s probably why sports fans anxiously await this momentous occasion. Any person has a shot at predicting correctly. The rationales for picking Team X or Team Y between Person A and Person B can see a variance as gaping as the Grand Canyon. And more surprising is that logic can and will only determine some of the results. The nature of March Madness is exactly that: madness. Therefore, each person’s bracket needs to have a few major upsets. There should probably be a Cinderella run by a mid-major. Mascot superiority and jersey colors will be determining factors. A few top teams will play exactly as expected. A 16-seed will never win.

As crazy as it reads, I strongly believe that a 16-seeded David will slay a Goliath sometime in the next few to several years. When this happens, the tournament will be deemed certifiably mad.

For some fun, listed below are a few highlights from my bracket:

  • Every Iowa school (#7 Iowa, #3 Iowa State, #5 Northern Iowa) will win at least its first round game
  • #11 The Dayton Flyers will see good fortune playing in Ohio, specifically in nearby Columbus
  • #1 Duke and #2 UVA will meet in the Final Four for an epic ACC clash
  • #7 Wichita State will shock the world and bring the entire state of Kentucky to tears en route to another Final Four
  • #1 Wisconsin v #4 UNC will be must-see television
  • The Arizona Wildcats will officially return to the college basketball summit by winning the 2015 National Championship with Sandra Bullock (“that wildcat behind the wheel”) sitting court side

Jim Nantz: You’re on.

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Posted on March 19, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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