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Parachuting into a Girl’s Heart
“Now we’re parachute pals!”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of The Goldbergs from January 21, 2014:
For a young man in junior high, there comes a moment that happens but maybe once in his lifetime that transcends the very meaning of his existence on Earth.
What is this magical instance?
It’s the one time when a guy tries to be funny around a girl he likes and, as if the Gates of Heaven begin to open its doors, the girl genuinely laughs. She laughs! Then, by some miracle, she continues this miraculous event with a casual request “to save her a dance.” Inside a guy’s head, it might as well be the Fourth of July combined with Christmas!
Now, the difficult part. Learning to dance…
Adam’s conquest of securing his first dance with a girl can be viewed (in its initial stage of moving to his own rhythm courtesy of a television show) as a traffic accident in the middle of a busy intersection. Fortunately for him, members of his family were traveling on roads around the scene of this crash. But only one would have the jumper cables to provide the spark for Adam’s own Saturday Night Fever.
Who knew the best help kit would involve something tailor made for a skydiver?
Erica was busy on the phone with her own emergency, which involved her friend’s new car and the color yellow.
Got it. Enough said. No further questions needed.
Time to reluctantly seek some sort of “wisdom” across the hall. And Barry doesn’t disappoint. The older brother is confident, yet clueless. Or so it seemed…
Adam is left with his only option: television and a snuggie, plus some rad moves!
Sneaking up behind her adorable son awkwardly following the dance show he was mimicking, Beverly Goldberg tries to persuade her sweet little Adam to let her teach him to dance. He, as expected, refuses with the power of a thousand suns. Until he, to his pure shock, witnesses and comes to grips with what a star dancer his Mom was with moves comparable to John Travolta himself.
After mastering the first seven chapters or so, the money dance had arrived in his living room like the Publishers Clearing House knocking at their door. But would Adam open the door and accept the check?
Despite multiple formal and informal protests, Adam was eventually persuaded by his Mom to…(deep breath) slow dance. Adam and his Mom knew that this was the real dance he wanted to learn to impress the girl of his dreams.
How did it go?
Let’s put it this way: It was embarrassing, uncomfortable and a little more embarrassing, but it was solving his problem.
Until…
Beverly then pulled her son in close in the most hilariously creepy yet adorable way possible with the rationale, “You smell like the dryer!” It was a successful dance lesson, but it was definitely over.
Despite a moment that was more awkward than A Flock of Seagulls haircut, the mission was mostly complete. Adam learned how to dance, while also maintaining the mental image of Barry dancing like the fourth, white member of Run DMC on a large piece of cardboard in the basement.
Then, when things couldn’t get any better, Beverly gave Adam parachute…the 1980s version of wait for it…pants! Yes, it happened! Combined with the perfect stone washed denim jacket, Adam was ready for takeoff. That was until his Mom popped out from the kitchen the day of the dance with the exact same outfit and the breaking news that she was a chaperone.
Elvis cannot leave the building.
In a panic, Adam implored his sister Erica to help distract their Mom with a photo album project (all he had to do was stop saying he ” loved her” for this favor). Hours would be needed. Success was on the horizon. But this is Beverly Goldberg we’re talking about and she pieced together a photo album for the ages in no time.
Literally.
Shell-shocked and impressed, Erica was powerless to stop her Mother from going to Adam’s dance. Something big was going to happen…
While all of this was occurring, Barry was pretending not to know anything about “the birds and the bees” to his Dad because he was upset Murry never sat him down for “the talk” or anything else like that (thank goodness Pops was there). But Murry was strong-armed by his wife to finally give him “the talk.” Enter hilarious baseball analogies concerning Mike Schmidt, Wade Boggs and the dual sport athlete Bo Jackson. Plus a Fraggle reference.
“Bo can be a girl’s name.”
“They (Fraggles) dance their cares away!”
At the school dance, Adam speaks to his Mom and forces her to go away out of embarrassment. Devastated, Beverly listens and slowly makes her way out of the gymnasium. While this is happening, Adam meets up with his crush, but she’s too humiliated to dance because her Mom (also a chaperone) was dancing in the middle of the dance floor.
What now!?
A quick realization of what his Mom had done for him with the dance lesson and awesome clothing, Adam ran out of the gym to his sulking Mom and begged her to return. And being the star Beverly was, she not only returned, but she brought everyone (including her son’s crush) to the dance floor with her Travolta swagger and “The Safety Dance” (fitting for Adam’s car wreck of a beginning to dancing).
Then, as the music for the slow dance came on, Beverly cleverly maneuvered her fellow chaperone to the sidelines for her son’s and her daughter’s magical moment.
The dance had arrived and it was perfect…except for his Mom mouthing, “I love you” with emotional hand motions from the large door window only 30 paces away.
After realizing he had never had any of “the talks” with Barry, Murry finally decided to teach him something now. His lesson turned out to be much more than just a party trick to open a bottle to Barry…and Murry.
There is no “official” manual for parenting, which brings to mind a cause for celebration when creativity randomly flourishes from the minds of a Mom or Dad in the form of parachute pants, Fraggles and Wade Boggs.
“I was living for a dream, loving for a moment, taking on the world, that was just my style…”
Oscar’s Favorite Number This Year? 10
The Oscar nominations were announced early this morning. As is true every year, there are obvious selections in popular categories, as well as obvious snubs (Tom Hanks anyone?).
Two points today:
1. Back in 2006, my family and I saw a Broadway show called “Three Days of Rain” starring Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts and Paul Rudd. I know what you’re thinking: who was in charge of casting? If only there could have been some quality “name” actors, right?
The story took place in an intimate apartment setting, but featured larger than life personalities. This dynamic pushed the limits of storytelling to a place that left us and the audience in an awe. We were able to escape into this world of, well, rain and a will for the father of Roberts and Rudd’s characters.
The play was great and one I will never forget, especially when Julia Roberts waved to me from her black Escalade passing us by on the street outside the theater!
2. American Hustle and Gravity dominated this morning’s party with an astonishing 10 nominations…each.
Wow.
Having seen Gravity, it’s not surprising this Space thriller and drama with the beautiful and talented Sandra Bullock has garnered a tremendous amount of respect and potential for glory come next month’s golden ceremony. In terms of cinematography, it’s virtually incomparable this year. Admittedly, I have not seen American Hustle yet, but will definitely venture to a theater near me as soon as possible. The latter film features a couple of my favorite actors (plus today’s Lois Lane) and it looks like a fun and wild ride with a top-notch cast.
There are other good movies in Best Picture category, but these two seem to rise above the rest.
Regarding Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress, it’s a bit surreal to see Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts listed…and in the same year no less. Not surprising, but just surreal that brings a smile to my face and those of my family’s who were in attendance that wonderful night in New York City (it could be argued that Paul Rudd should have received a Best Supporting Actor nod for 2013s Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, but…).
Regardless, talk about “Three Stars of the Future.”
American Hustle is an exciting, elaborate portrayal of political corruption, with some ties to real life events. It features an outstanding cast: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence and Jeremy Renner. Even though I have not seen it (coupled with the fact I predict I will likely really enjoy it when I do), it does seem to strike the right tone for what has transpired in 2013 (and the past few years before) in politics with our trusted “leaders.”
Conversely, Gravity has more weight to it by the fact that it ties to what most Americans (and people around the world) are facing each day: uncertainty, financial and personal struggles and feelings of isolation for how to continue with heartbreak and such frustrating prospects for improvements in the job market. The plot/story, characters, symbolism and visual imagery is absolutely stunning and provides a powerful narrative that connects with so many viewers all around the world in 2013.
Memorable movies tend to speak to a generation. Or, in Gravity’s case, more than one generation. Both movies represent us in starkly different ways, but which one do we ultimately want to celebrate and remember at this point in history?
If the choice for Best Picture comes down to celebrating an American hustle or a story of personal enlightenment and new-found strength in an environment of the seemingly impossible, the American people and those around the world may want something with a little more gravity to it.
“The Goldbergs” is Television Heaven
“So it does involve treasure.”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of The Goldbergs from January 14, 2014.
We all remember being in high school and taking part in college fairs and enjoying the wild circus known as class elections. The latter consisted of our fellow classmates who would state their positions on various issues and makes sensible, reasoned promises like building a two-story winding water slide that splashes into the cafeteria where there would be a free towel and soda waiting for us to quench our thirst before biology.
Then, the kids finally told their parents to stop helping them with their campaigns.
Beverly and Betsy, this means you.
And there may be no better example of maternal love and support of all things motherly on television than the incomparable Beverly Goldberg. Whether this involves scaring her son away from his interest in the University of Hawaii by saying the school is surrounded by sharks or by hanging blown-up, embarrassing pictures of her son in every hallway of his school for everyone (including his blonde crush) to see with an image that’s downright unforgettable.
Beverly Goldberg is “a shoulder-padded, crunchy-haired mother warrior.”
While Barry was enduring the high-stakes game of high school politics (with and without berry bombs), Erica and Adam each had their own crisis to confront.
Erica, a former model student in the classroom (just not in Senegal), was confiding in her unwilling Pops with a pastrami sandwich about how she had been successfully scamming her Mom about all the extracurricular activities she was boasting on her college application. This reveal caused an uncomfortable, but therapeutic, flashback of her days in the Model U.N.
She was studious. She did lots of work. She was a mini-Beverly driven by an unrelenting Type A personality. This ultimately led to a battle between Libya and Senegal that could not be resolved peacefully.
This inner conflict led to Erica resigning from the U.N. (but not on her application, of course) for a much cooler, laid back approach to academics and life in general.
She had checked out, which brings us to Adam and his Dad at the Video Heaven movie store.
Yes, there was a glorious time in the history of Mankind when men, women and children would dare to leave the comfort of their own homes and venture off to a video store where they would walk through a maze of movies (new and old) in search of “the one.” But, the catch was there needed to be a VHS or DVD behind the empty cover box on the shelf. If not, Friday night was a bust. Game over.
All was lost, including one’s very soul…at least until the next day when the shelves were hopefully restocked.
There was always the return bin, but that was the last resort. Most importantly, or at least on the same level as “Be Kind, Rewind,” was the existence of the late fees. Murray Goldberg realized the horrible ramifications for not returning a movie on-time: a bullet through his wallet!
A dejected Adam, who had discovered an Indiana Jones in the return bin, was denied by the clerk because of an outrageous fine to his Dad’s forgetfulness to return the Paul Newman-led movie masterpiece Slap Shot, unleashed a fury on Murray that seemed impossible to resolve.
Incredibly, with the odds against each of the Goldbergs (except for the preoccupied, sandwich eating Pops), each found his and her inspiration and strength in doing the uncomfortable.
Barry decided to start caring about his campaign for Treasurer by publicly denouncing his Mother’s insanity and all mothers’ insanity to great applause, fanfare and an impossible victory, Erica chose peace and reconciliation with the Model U.N. and with her personal struggle with Senegal and what that country represented to her, Beverly took her foot off the pedal of a high school class treasurer’s race along with her battle for parental supremacy with arch rival Betsy, Murray paid his outrageous fine (though the math did add up) and Adam forgave his Dad for a lost night of action, adventure and all-around Harrison Ford greatness.
For Murray, swallowing his pride, admitting he was wrong to someone outside his immediate family and doing something unforgettably nice for his son Adam (for two months anyways) was one heck of a long shot. Some may even argue it symbolized a last second, seemingly impossible slap shot to win the game…
Adam had in his hands an official card to Video Heaven with 50 prepaid rentals. For those of us who remember such cards, it was a moment of pure bliss and awesomeness.
Maybe listening to Toto will bring us to the yellow brick road where it will, in a surreal sense, lead us back to our own Video Heaven.
As a former patron and employee at Blockbuster, this episode rang especially true. The movie store scenes rewound cherished memories of restocking new releases and classics and of manning the computer/register in the front to eager movie watchers of all ages, day and night (plus an Olympian).
It was a great job making people’s cinematic dreams come true!
There’s no place like Blockbuster, there’s no place like Hollywood Video, there’s no place like a video rental store!
Happy Monday!
The 2014 Golden Globes once again had its fair share of memorable moments (both good and bad), mostly based on who you were cheering for to win, of course. There is usually buzz for the show at the beginning and the end of the 3-hour production, with the opening monologue as the main attraction.
Last night, there were a few jokes that fell flat from BFF co-hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but there were also a few comedic jabs that rose to the occasion…even to the brink of outer space hilarity.
Despite the fact the below clip is brought to us from NBC, please turn the volume way up! Two of the best jokes are right off the top, one of which includes Lake Como’s most famous resident. But be sure to stay tuned a couple minutes in for a fun shout-out to Matthew McConaughey.
Happy Monday!
Jimmy's Daily Planet 