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Making a Fuss for the Restivus
Seinfeld taught us everything there is to know about nothing, which turned out to be everything we love twenty years later.
As the innovative Frank Costanza would say today, on December 23rd of each year, “Happy Festivus!”
Courtesy of the aforementioned Frank Costanza, the creator of “Festivus,” the world was given the platform to air-out their grievances whilst in the presence of our loved ones and an aluminum pole.
What’s my grievance this year?
That Festivus still isn’t a federally recognized holiday.
Ask yourself: Do you have an aluminum pole set upright in the middle of your home?
You would have the chance to get one if you had today off, with plenty of time in the evening to grieve, culminating in a hilarious wrestling match.
Happy Festivus!
P.S. A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.
No Shrinkage of Laughter Here
Nobody knows how to be you but you…except somebody else.
Seinfeld is undeniably one of the greatest sitcoms (and comedy universes) in history. Character development had the right momentum, the writing was brilliantly original, yet was restricted to a specific style and flow, and the comedic quartet was dynamically perfect. The guest stars were hits and some even became pop culture icons.
Soup, anyone?
It’s been reported that Jerry (himself), George, Elaine and Kramer were all based (at least in some part) on real people. That just adds to the hilarity of the stories. It also makes the characters all the more relatable.
Speaking of which, George Costanza is based on series co-creator Larry David. But who plays a better George: Jason Alexander or Larry David?
World’s are colliding!
Happy Monday!
We try, day in and day out, but to no avail.
Insanity is, of course, doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results. But changing routine can be a trying experience, and this is especially true when our alarms ring so discouragingly loud on Monday mornings. Can we really muster the energy and mental strength to alter our seemingly predetermined life trajectory?
So, what do we do?
Just remember the inspirational figure featured in the video below. Okay, not inspirational, but so confused by the tendencies of basic human interaction that he, by the lightning strike of Zeus, concocts a new and successful outlook on life…however brief.
George Costanza: The man, the myth, the something else.
Happy Opposite Day/Week!
Playing a Mind Game with a Mind Game
“Okay, no cheesy pick-up lines and there’s only one rule: just 3 questions and I’ll be on my way. But you have to answer honestly. Deal?”
Guys, have you ever walked up to a girl who is so far beyond your league it’s actually funny?
No doubt it’s terrifying, nerve-racking and scary. However, if you do it enough times, you began to feel immune to the rejection and you start to feel like George Costanza in a sense with the oddly comforting internal reaction of, “Yup, that seems about right.” This is accompanied with a head shrug.
How is it done? Why does it look so easy in the movies and on television?
Probably because it says so in the script.
Nevertheless, it’s a matter of being creative, spontaneous and charming all at the same time. So, a new strategy must be constructed. An impromptu Trojan horse of sorts needs to be built to earn just a few moments with this stunningly beautiful girl from across the perfectly trimmed green lawn several feet beyond the crowded lines of food trucks.
Here we go:
Now standing next to her in a semi-crowded downtown park on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, I turned and said, “Okay, no cheesy pick-up lines and there’s only one rule: just 3 questions and I’ll be on my way. But you have to answer honestly. Deal?”
She looked at me puzzled like I was a living, breathing pop-quiz on quantum physics that she didn’t study for. Confused, she appeared willing to stick around to try to survive this unexpected situation/quiz…for about 5 seconds.
Better make this count.
“Question 1: Do you like surprises?”
“Well, yeah, what girl doesn’t?”
I subtly nodded in approval.
“Question 2: What qualities do you look for in the man of your dreams?”
“Alright…I want him to be sweet, nice, good-looking, athletic, caring, romantic, a good listener, spontaneous…”
I gently smiled, nodded my head, calmly turned and started walking away. She caught up to me after a few seconds.
“Hey, so you randomly stop me in the park to ask me questions, 3 of them actually, and then you just leave. And after only 2, by the way. Can you not count? What’s up with that?”
“You’re a good listener. I like that quality in a person too. Okay. Question 3: What’s your name?”
“(hesitant, she takes a deep breath) I’m Kaley.”
“Hi Kaley.”
I smile, then I slowly start walking away again.
“That’s it. Wha-” Strangely curious, she catches up to me once more, confused.
“Hey, where are you going, dude?”
Strolling side-by-side now, I turned to her with a look of assurance. “Well Kaley, it looks like we’re on our way to get lunch.”
She paused and, against all her might not to, she couldn’t help but smile adorably and flirtatiously roll her eyes at me.
Despite the oddness of it all, she couldn’t help but accept my stealth invitation.
“How’s that for a surprise?”
Getting a date with a beautiful girl by making her smile without an insincere, cheesy pick-up line?
Yup, that seems about right.
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I suddenly woke from daydreaming at work as my head began to slip from my supportive right arm towards the Dell keyboard directly below.
After composing myself, I pondered, “would this actually work?”
Saturday is only two days away…
Jimmy's Daily Planet 