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Looking Beyond the Fiddle Faddle
“I’m a female woman!”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of “The Goldbergs” from December 3, 2013.
There are practically zero circumstances in life where that statement makes any logical sense…at all.
To add a bit of clarity, here’s a little context: Beverly Goldberg in mall jail.
Mystery solved.
Imagine running a marathon for 26.19 miles and then, for the final 0.01 mile of the race, your brother sweeps in from nowhere to joyfully jog backwards into the finish line to reap all the glory. The frustration one would feel would be off the charts in complete and utter shock. The emotions would be virtually unprecedented. Actually, in this situation, that was exactly the case. Switch in six months of pursuing the grand prize in “Legends of Zelda” in 1980s-something for the marathon and you’ve got Adam and Barry’s most recent brotherly battle.
What’s worse: Adam losing his glorious Zelda finale to his older brother, Barry’s negativity forcing his quick thinking grandfather to lie and deceive him about luck or that Barry wore a ketchup colored shirt to bet on the ponies while eating a hot dog with mustard?
All have the credentials to claim the Exotica.
To fully understand how Beverly Goldberg found herself in the treacherous room known as “mall jail,” the issue of money plus a teenage daughter must first be discussed. What do you get when the savviest shopper of all-time (buy two mattresses, get two free and a $9.99 lawn mower!) gives birth to a daughter who fifteen or sixteen years later gets a job as a cashier at a dynamite department store with an incredible employee discount?
You get a Mom who sets up camp at her embarrassed teenage daughter’s place of employment/place of coolness/”supposed” freedom and independence, a mannequin stolen, but also the incomparable “Clapper.”
After all the clothes and random purchases during just one week, Erica’s boss finally stepped in (but in a totally non-flirtatious way) to subtly tell his newest employee that her Mom had to be cut-off from the discount.
Enter the snow pants.
With a perfectly maniacal plan to deny the discount from her Mother, Erica, with a smile, watched as her Mom “allegedly” tried to steal perfume while also buying snow pants for the same daughter who was willing to send her own Mother down the river…to mall jail.
While all this was happening, “Barry Luck” was providing said brother with a delusional sense of prosperous fortune. Was it real? No. But sometimes it takes an illusion to spark a necessary and magical mindset of confidence. The placebo effect. It’s something grandparents understand and Pops is undoubtedly one of the greats.
The tension between Erica and Beverly, like most things in life, was not really about a massive overuse of an employee discount. It was about big life decisions and what she and her Mom value most. And the reasons for those decisions.
As every family should realize (and the Goldbergs sure did), being a Mom is full-time job that truly brings harmony, stability and a crazily awesome love for her family.
There are times when we need to pause, take a deep breath and understand that people want different things out of life. Knowing what we want out of life, with all the chaos and opportunities around us, is an impressive trait to possess. Whatever that may be, it’s a sign of intelligence, strength and inner serenity.
And if that’s your starting point every morning, then you should consider yourself rich without the need for any discount or “(insert your name here) luck.”
Beverly Goldberg was only in mall jail for 12 minutes. However, it doesn’t take viewers nearly that long to get hilariously excited for each new episode of “The Goldbergs” every Tuesday night at 9:00 p.m. on ABC.
It’s a popular favorite!
P.S. Beverly literally owns “The Clapper.” She literally used it in the best way imaginable!
ABC Has Dialed Up a Winner
“Two phone lines. What is this? The White House?”
Through the combination of preplanned, intentional and serendipitous circumstances and choices in life, ranging from picking a college to asking our future loved one on a date one Friday night to pausing on a page that featured a particular style of house seen in an issue of Midwestern Living, we find ourselves living where we do for a myriad of reasons. It really is fascinating to ponder at just how mysterious life can be sometimes.
That is, until you meet the neighbors.
On last night’s episode of “The Goldbergs,” Adam’s Tron bike (looked legit) lured the new neighbor Chad Kremp (aka-his new best friend) over to the side of the street that takes a more direct tone to dealing with your everyday events, like trying to talk down your moron son who is holding on for dear life while he sits stuck in a tree he voluntarily climbed.
You may be asking yourself “what the hell?”
Excuse me, “what the h-word?”
The Kremp family was proper, soft spoken and not akin to the Goldbergs style of parenting and general living practices. The dynamic of the Goldbergs and the Kremps represented the complete opposite sides of any spectrum, humorously of course. From sibling rumblings to different styles of clothes to the audible distinction between shouting and whispering, the road in between their houses might as well have been the Amazon River (Don’t go in the water…).
In the midst of a completely casual/”non forced” indoor BBQ, Beverly could not restrain herself with polite whispers after Barry and Erica were wrestling on the floor in front of their guests (and relentlessly hopeful BFF’s) because of a disclosed voice recording telling all of Erica’s crush on a certain Kremp who heard it to his surprise. In the heat of the moment, Beverly let loose “the” word.
Yes, that word.
And, in a word (literally), the BBQ was over. The families retreated to their corners…well, houses.
At this point, any form of reconciliation seemed nearly impossible. Not even Beverly’s walking/stalking in an absolutely glowing florescent track/speed walking suit could bring the Goldbergs and the Kremps back together. What could possibly bring these two polar opposites together?
When Virginia (Mrs. Kremp) was at the bakery counter in the local grocery store, who was allowing herself to be taken by the baker (the real Mr. Kremp by the way!) for an awful tasting pastry, Beverly popped in to save the day with a very public recount of the infamous “birthday cake fiasco.”
Not only did Mrs. Kremp get a fresh pastry as a result, but she also took a deep breath after this surprisingly helpful and friendly encounter with her more boisterous neighbor. But it seems like everyone on both sides of the street took a much needed deep breath.
Best friends reunited to continue filming their very own “Tron” and “Star Wars” sagas, siblings decided to take 5-minutes off from fighting to help each other out and Murray and Charles Kremp finally committed to doing something they liked together sans wives.
It was one of those rare, special family moments we’ve all shared where everything seems to click.
Despite the fact that crossing the Amazon River (or neighborhood street) can be treacherous, it’s important to remember that nothing worthwhile is easy. The good things is life take time and effort. Plus, it always helps to look at things from the other person’s perspective. In other words, it’s beneficial to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
Just ask Beverly, she walker-stalked Mrs. Kremp for two hours before she caught up to her!
“Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now” by Jefferson Starship played at the end of the show. For those of us who grew up during some part of the ’80s, the following video was likely the first thing that popped into our heads (real and plastic)…
So, for a great time, just dial 976-
Just kidding! I meant tune into “The Goldbergs” at 9:00 p.m. on ABC Tuesday nights to travel back to the ’80s for a totally rad time!
P.S. Who else remembers the one phone line in the house? It was a simpler time…
Jimmy's Daily Planet 