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The Ultimate Face-Off

Nicolas Cage needs to be a surprise guest star on The Big Bang Theory.

And by surprise, I mean a total surprise for the audience and Howard Wolowitz Simon Helberg. That way, Mr. Helberg’s castmates, who know his impression skills, would step aside and shine the brightest spotlight on these two actors taking center stage sitcom-style for a truly epic showdown of comedic talents starring Nicolas Cage and…Nicolas Cage.

This comedic duel would redefine the real Nicolas Cage’s famous 1997 film Face/Off.

Don’t believe that the world needs this specific pairing on primetime television?

Here’s a sample of Mr. Helberg’s work involving Nicolas Cage, as well as a couple other bonus impressions.

At some point during the upcoming season, Chuck Lorre should call Nicolas Cage, Billy Baldwin and Ben Stiller for an unforgettable “Sweeps Week” event.

And, if approached the right way, this golden TV moment could be as simple as A-B-C…

all the way to Z.

The Ultimate Superhero Face-Off?

Wednesday is a wonderful day to wonder about what could have been. For instance, what if Nicolas Cage was cast as Superman?

Before you start laughing too loudly, this was, at one point in the late ’90s, a legitimate conversation.

supermanlives2.0.0

The rumored title of the movie was Superman Lives. Probably not the best title in the off-chance it wouldn’t get made (check) because of the obvious counter headline for reporters: Superman’s Dead.

C’mon screenwriters, that was too much of a lay-up.

However, thanks to creative video editing, YouTube user “Epic Wolf Films” has given fans a glimpse into what Nicolas Cage would look like as Superman in the Dawn of Justice.

As absurd as it is, Nicolas Cage is still 7 kinds of crazy awesomeness. He’s certainly not my pick to play Superman, the greatest superhero in history, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t not watch the movie in the trailer above…

The film could be titled Superman: A National Treasure.

It’s quite the declaration, but Superman is a character with a certain degree of independence.

Leaving the Cage

'Ghost Rider' Photocall

(Photo by Adam Berry/Getty Images)

 “Actor Nicolas Cage returns stolen Mongolian dinosaur skull”

This is a real news headline found on Yahoo. It’s not April 1st. This is real life.

One of the reasons why people (myself included) love watching Nicolas Cage movies and searching for past interviews of Nicolas Cage is rooted in the headline above. He’s a uniquely strange human being who electrifies mankind with a talent and magnetism that hasn’t yet been discovered.

Not even the deepest reaches of an exotic rain forest has the answer.

“The actor bought the Tarbosaurus bataar fossil at a New York auction in March 2007” (AFP online). 

The dinosaur skull is a part of the Tyrannosaurus family. And on a related note, a belated high-five goes out to America’s national treasure.

Sadly, Nicolas Cage didn’t track down the dinosaur skull by scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef and catching a rare fish that, when examined with a black light, revealed a specific scar that was the birds-eye view of an abandoned fishing village run by a skinny and intensely tan 83 year-old man with long white hair named Kiku who was holding in his possession a worn map that would lead to a specific patch of desert in Mongolia that contained the rarest dinosaur skull pursued by archaeologists from all around the world.

Instead, according to the Yahoo article, Nicolas Cage bought the skull (reportedly outbidding Leonardo DiCaprio) and unknowingly left the country with it in an illegal fashion. Mr. Cage is returning the skull without interference.

Kind of a bummer.

Nicolas Cage should always, always be able to ask someone, “Hey, do you wanna see my dinosaur skull?”

C’mon Mongolia, you’re better than this.

Good Luck Will Lack, Friday the 13th is Back

It’s Friday the 13th.

Wait, it feels like there’s some weird déjà vu going on here…

That’s right, we’re only into the third month of 2015 and we’re already experiencing the second Friday the 13th. As if bad luck’s shadow didn’t linger far enough the first time, now we must be vigilant for the second month in a row. But that’s not all: November will bring us the third Friday the 13th of the year.

Is it possible the Mayans were off by three years?

The challenge is to refrain from stepping on a crack that will break our mother’s back, avoid that black cat and don’t even look in a mirror today, let alone walk under a straddling ladder. The latter with the ladder is a sentence I’ve wanted to write for a long time. Check. While sorcerers do not walk among us (except for Nicolas Cage), there have always been unexplained phenomena in the world. The ambiguity of life sparks curiosity and expectation because we instinctively keep a look out for supernatural events. So, keep your eyes open and good luck avoiding the terrible trappings of Friday the 13th: Round 2.

By the way, I think Groundhog Day finally found its sequel.