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Got Slogans?
A recent article on CNN revealed the winning slogans for all the teams that will be playing at the World Cup in Brazil this summer. The winning slogans, written by fans from each country, will be displayed on the team buses for all to see during the tournament. A few are good, but most of them are bad.
Solution?
Here is Jimmy’s Daily Planet’s list of better, more realistic team mottoes for some of the 32 teams that will compete in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil:
Algeria: “Yes, We’ll Keep Track of Landon Donovan This Time”
Argentina: “We Have Lionel Messi, So Yeah”
Australia: “Forget Kangaroos, We’re Bringing Our Damn Crocodiles!”
Belgium: “At the End of This, You’ll All Be Eating Waffles”
Bosnia and Herzegovina: “If You Lose to Us, Everybody Will Know”
Brazil: “Win or Lose, We’ll Be in the Final!”
Colombia: “We Brought Our Own White Powder to Line the Fields With…”
England: “Excited For Our 10-Day Vacation Every 4 Years!”
Ghana: “Time to Beat the U.S. Again”
Honduras: “Just Happy to Be Here”
Italy: “And You Thought a Flower Blew Over Easily”
Japan: “We Have the Sudoku of Defenses”
Mexico: “We Have No Idea How We Got Such an Easy Group Again (Ju$t Kidding, We Know)”
Holland: “Real Men Wear Orange” (It’s the real one, but it’s so awesome & true!)
Portugal: “We Have a Star Player Named Ronaldo Who Speaks Portuguese Playing at the World Cup in Brazil…I Mean, C’mon”
Russia: “What’s This Rule About Wearing Jerseys?”
Spain: “Hey, Does Anybody Care or Want to See the World Cup Right Now!?”
Switzerland: “We Don’t Want to Offend or Defend Anyone”
Uruguay: “South America’s ‘Middle Child’ Will Be Kicking Butts & Taking Names!”
The United States of America: “One Nation, Under God, We’re Praying”
A little truth in advertising doesn’t hurt. It definitely revealed how Spain would fare 4 years ago with their simple slogan:
Spain in 2010: “We’re Going to Win”
P.S. You have no idea how painful it was for me to write that as a longtime and dedicated Dutch fan…just one delicate foot deflection away!
Damn, it still hurts.
Fool’s Gold
The United States Men’s National Team (USMNT) defeated Costa Rica last night 1-nil on a counter-attack goal courtesy of Brek Shea in the 83rd minute that started with a beautiful over-the-top service from Landon Donovan and concluded with a decent enough finish to rattle the net. With the result, the United States won their group in the Gold Cup. They will face El Salvador next in one of the quarterfinal match-ups this Sunday.
A good result with a good goal sequence. One certainty for the USMNT is that Landon Donovan knows how to counter-attack, when he doesn’t disappear for fifteen or so minutes every once in a while during the most important games…
But was the result really good enough?
The question during the Gold Cup and the World Cup qualifying in the CONCACAF group is not whether or not the USMNT wins games, but it’s how they win and play. Do they have a reliably dynamic style that meets world-class standards? Let’s be candid: CONCACAF is not overly difficult and wins should consistently be achieved on the road and should definitely be achieved at home. During the home matches, there should be an abundance of spectacular goals and stellar performances from the goalkeeper up to the forwards. At this point, these games should not require a counter-attack goal after the 80th minute to secure a narrow victory at home. At this point, the USMNT should be running circles around the Gold Cup and CONCACAF competition with consistent 3-0-like victories.
Have the recent results really been good enough?
The teams from the Gold Cup and CONCACAF represent the weakest competition they will potentially face in the World Cup in Brazil in 2014. Does the team that struggles to defeat Costa Rica at home and other similar competition have the roster, style, toughness, talent, strategy, resilience and intelligence to defeat or compete with Spain? Brazil? Germany (their first team)? The Dutch? Portugal? England? Argentina? Belgium? Uruguay? Ghana?
Frustratingly, each time the USMNT roster is announced, there is a steadily uneasy feeling that half of the selected players should not even be there…especially one year out from the World Cup.
However, don’t paint me as a pessimist. I am an eternal believer in the “glass is half-full” mentality. I have long said Jürgen Klinsmann has the intelligence and insight to coach a USMNT that wins a World Cup. But, sadly, that team has not come very close to being organized on the field during his tenure thus far. Amazing things can happen in games that are predicted otherwise. Unlikely players show up and can change a game in an instant. Upsets happen and the USMNT has pulled off a few magical ones. They undoubtedly have the potential.
Yet, I am also a realist and am cognizant of the talent level of the aforementioned teams. There is a distinct difference between qualifying and playing in a World Cup and qualifying and competing for a World Cup.
It’s less than a year from the 2014 World Cup in Brazil and it needs to said that 90 minutes is a long time, especially when you’re having to chase a ball while simultaneously climbing a mountain of goals against.
P.S. The U.S. v. Mexico game at Crew Stadium in Columbus, Ohio on September 10th will once again be epic! Importantly, it will reveal the talent and overall readiness of the USMNT going forward…
How 90 minutes Can Be Defined by a Few Seconds
This past Wednesday, Arjen Robben once again proved why he is a world-class soccer player. Starting for Bayern Munich in their German Cup clash with Borussia Dortmund, a team that has had their number the past few meetings, Robben was the beneficiary of receiving a deflection in the 43rd minute from a tackle just on the outer perimeter of the reigning Bundesliga champions’ 18-yard box. What did he do instantly upon having the ball at his feet?
On Saturday night, the Argentinian maestro for the Columbus Crew, who sports the unusually high number 33 (although 3×3=9…), also had the ball come to his feet several yards outside of the 18-yard box in the 2013 season opener at the Home Depot Center against Chivas USA. What did he do with it?
In the best leagues in Europe, players do this with frequency. Robben’s strike was fantastic, but not necessarily rare. The best players do not think, but rather react in the many situations throughout any given match. Practice is designed for thinking and the game is won by reacting. For example, most do not focus on the immediate pass or action right in front of them, but are cognizant of their surroundings and instead prepare for what the second and third pass needs to be. In those quick moments, they move and act accordingly. In the case of the two shots above, both the Dutchman and Argentine knew what to do in each of their split second decisions. They’ve trained many years for such opportunities.
Arjen Robben and Federico Higuaín showcased moments of brilliance that are celebrated so passionately in “the beautiful game.” To witness this just three days apart was particularly special because two players from completely different backgrounds, cultures and leagues shared an exhilarating commonality of giving its fans the thrill of a game altering goal with a similar impromptu strike on distant pitches, separated by the world’s largest ‘pond’: the Atlantic Ocean.
“Großen Fußballtor!”
“Gran Arco de Fútbol!”
Incredibly, regardless of any language barriers, at least everybody can agree both men scored a “great soccer goal!”
At least that was my reaction.
Jimmy's Daily Planet 