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Got Slogans?

A recent article on CNN revealed the winning slogans for all the teams that will be playing at the World Cup in Brazil this summer. The winning slogans, written by fans from each country, will be displayed on the team buses for all to see during the tournament. A few are good, but most of them are bad.

Solution?

Here is Jimmy’s Daily Planet’s list of better, more realistic team mottoes for some of the 32 teams that will compete in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil:

Algeria: “Yes, We’ll Keep Track of Landon Donovan This Time”

Argentina: “We Have Lionel Messi, So Yeah”

Australia: “Forget Kangaroos, We’re Bringing Our Damn Crocodiles!”

Belgium: “At the End of This, You’ll All Be Eating Waffles”

Bosnia and Herzegovina: “If You Lose to Us, Everybody Will Know”

Brazil: “Win or Lose, We’ll Be in the Final!”

Colombia: “We Brought Our Own White Powder to Line the Fields With…”

England: “Excited For Our 10-Day Vacation Every 4 Years!”

Ghana: “Time to Beat the U.S. Again”

Honduras: “Just Happy to Be Here”

Italy: “And You Thought a Flower Blew Over Easily”

Japan: “We Have the Sudoku of Defenses”

Mexico: “We Have No Idea How We Got Such an Easy Group Again (Ju$t Kidding, We Know)”

Holland: “Real Men Wear Orange” (It’s the real one, but it’s so awesome & true!)

Portugal: “We Have a Star Player Named Ronaldo Who Speaks Portuguese Playing at the World Cup in Brazil…I Mean, C’mon”

Russia: “What’s This Rule About Wearing Jerseys?”

Spain: “Hey, Does Anybody Care or Want to See the World Cup Right Now!?”

Switzerland: “We Don’t Want to Offend or Defend Anyone”

Uruguay: “South America’s ‘Middle Child’ Will Be Kicking Butts & Taking Names!”

The United States of America: “One Nation, Under God, We’re Praying”

A little truth in advertising doesn’t hurt. It definitely revealed how Spain would fare 4 years ago with their simple slogan:

Spain in 2010: “We’re Going to Win”

P.S. You have no idea how painful it was for me to write that as a longtime and dedicated Dutch fan…just one delicate foot deflection away!

Damn, it still hurts.

Usually, I Order a Coke with No Ice…

In partnership with Ogilvy & Mather Bogota, Coca-Cola may have just started a cool sustainability revolution with its ice bottle. According to a July 9, 2013 Foxnews.com article, “Coca-Cola unveils new bottle made of ice,” the popular soda/pop (a serious debate, I know) maker gave the sweating populace of Colombia the rare icicle-like treat.

The ice bottle appears to be precisely what you would imagine it to be: ice that is frozen in the shape of a Coca-Cola bottle, with a rubber band around the middle for holding and drinking convenience, with the refreshing soda/pop cooled to the perfect temperature inside.

Just as long as it is easy to drink with an ice bottle opening and that famous scene from “A Christmas Story” doesn’t occur, then the general public should be in good shape. If need be, adjustments then have to be made.

It’s hot outside. What feels good on a hot summer day? Ice. What’s even better than ice? Ice with chilled Coca-Cola! But here’s the genius of it all: The outer and inner contents of the ice bottle will refreshingly chill your heat soaked bones. It’s a win-win. Actually though, since the bottle is made of ice, that means once you are finished drinking or using the bottle, it simply melts away without becoming trash.

It’s a win-win-win!

With the number of countries throughout the world that experience hot weather all year-round or even just seasonally hot weather like in the United States of America, the potential for this commercial product could be astronomical. Imagine the continents of South America, Africa and Australia for starters. Middle Eastern countries also tend to be on the slightly warmer side. Specifically, Dubai is always looking to the future and embraces some Western ideas and tendencies.

Imagine going to the beach during Summer vacation and instead of having to lug around a cooler filled with empty soda/pop bottles or cans at the end of the day…well, now you don’t have to. The cooler would be significantly lighter. Incredibly, this idea could spread to adult beverages. Because water is a key ingredient in beer, it is manageable. The recipe would have to be altered and thoroughly tested, but it is workable.

Wouldn’t you try a Coca-Cola or a Corona in an ice bottle on a hot Summer day?

Environmental sustainability is a vitally important issue and Coca-Cola’s seemingly simple ice bottle could be the practical product the public embraces globally just like Coca-Cola itself. Having traveled all around the world, I will speak from extensive experience when I say American consumer goods, like Coca-Cola, Pepsi and McDonald’s are very popular. In the case of the Coca-Cola ice bottle, the brand is already well-established and a favorite with millions of people.

If managed properly (cost, distribution, etc.) and affordable pricing is offered to the public, then we could be on the cusp of a global effort to positively and realistically preserve the environment.

Some of our worries could just melt away…

P.S. Two suggestions to Coca-Cola: don’t use a rubber band (use something recyclable) and make the gripping band larger so it can be hand-held, not finger-held.