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The Sounds of Christmas Eve
One of my family traditions was traveling to somewhere new and exciting around the world at Christmas time. Unbelievably, we actually covered much of said world (that sentence was surreal to write and read, believe me!). From Europe to Asia to Canada to Australia to Africa to the Middle East to South and Central America and, yes, even flying over Antarctica for New Years 2002, I will forever treasure my memories from these trips/vacations (inside joke).
There are infinite stories to be told, but today’s post has a specific note in mind.
Let me explain.
When we were in Montreal one year, we got dressed up in our Sunday best on Christmas Eve and walked in the cold and snow to a nearby church. On this specific evening, the church we visited was as receptive to strangers as it was grand as it stretched an entire city block. On this night, we were very fortunate to spot five unreserved seats along the railing of the upper level. We watched, prayed and listened in amazement to the Christmas Eve service before our eyes.
And one part of that night that has stuck with me through all these years was the music. Specifically, the church choir. Perfect harmony and perfect mood for a night as inspiring as Christmas Eve as we begin to reflect on Christ’s birth only hours away on December 25th.
Below is an adaptation of a Coldplay song titled, “Christmas Lights.” In the spirit of this post, the song is performed by Scala & Kolacny Brothers, which is a Beligan women’s choir.
If you close your eyes, you just may find yourself, for three minutes and forty-five seconds, inside a church for a special Christmas Eve night service. Perhaps inside a wonderful church in Montreal…
Perfect tone for today and tonight.
Happy Christmas Eve!
The Coolest Cobra Strike You’ve Ever Seen
Every Mom at some point or another has worn a particular pair of glasses in her life.
It’s true.
As Beverly Goldberg demonstrated last night with a simple stroll past her two sons wrestling (excuse me, doing kara-te!) in the living room, she showed that she owned a pair of “Mom Goggles.”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of “The Goldbergs” from December 10, 2013
What are “Mom Goggles” you ask? It’s a specific type of lens a Mom sees the world through whereby which everything her child or children does is unequivocally amazing, perfect and life-altering. This special perspective is the equal combination of excitement, denial and a unique kind of love that only a Mother can give.
This guidance and encouragement can even lead to showing up at her son’s high school to threaten (in the funniest way possible) the talent show director, Mr. Glasscott, for denying her breathtaking Barry from shining a light on the world with his incredibly uncoordinated and non-karate karate performance in front of the entire school.
The performance would not be considered “cool” by any stretch of the imagination. The cool kids in the crowd would surely ridicule him.
Strangely enough though, after Beverly Goldberg’s meet-and-greet with Mr. Glasscott, that had elements of verbal karate, news broke in suburban Philadelphia the the Tri-State Talent Show Committee had overruled the high school and would, therefore, give Barry his black belt/his Dad’s robe belt back!
The only other thing standing in Barry’s was, well, a dinner roll.
And yes, this matter clearly warranted a Tri-State ruling. Those talent shows are incomparably high octane. Just be sure not to mess with the National Talent Show Committee.
While “The Karate Kid” was getting a Goldberg-reboot courtesy of director/robber with a panty-hose mask and lethal red light saber Adam, Erica was preparing to act cool by sitting in the front row to witness her brother’s genuinely spectacular knockout (KO). It’s what older sisters do (I know from personal experience). However, Pops didn’t see it that way. He saw the situation differently.
Call it “Pops Goggles.”
First, it was singing. Then, it was the banjo. The accordion was also mentioned as an alternative. No dice. Erica was as unmoved as Pops reading a magazine with “Eight Ways to Catch a Hunk.”
Then, after a frank discussion from Murray Goldberg to Mr. Glasscott, news broke again in the talent show universe when the National Talent Show Committee overruled the Tri-State Talent Show Committee to allow Barry to continue his dream of kara-te. What are the odds!? Although, it does makes sense: national would trump the tri-state.
The night of the talent show was ripe for glory, as well as a surprise or two…
The time had come for Barry to showcase his ninja skills, despite the very unusual bickering between the Tri-State and National Talent Show Committees and his Dad’s wisdom to refrain from performing with a touching story from his youth.
It was time to transform the high school auditorium into Barry’s own personal dojo.
There was just one thing standing in the way of Barry annihilating his competition: a last second realization of the humiliation of what was about to occur stage right. Then, out of nowhere, a familiar face appeared backstage. Finally inspired by her grandfather’s persistence (and a guitar with a sweet note), Erica decided to pull out her own ninja moves…
With a new, but trusty red electric guitar, Erica decided to hit the talent show audience “with her best shot” Pat Benatar style. It was sensational.
But what do you get when one Goldberg gets on stage?
Answer: Three Goldbergs!
Inspired by his sister’s courage, reception and song choice, Barry built up his own courage (and cobra strike) and took the stage for an unforgettable kara-te demonstration with zealous brother Adam. Not only did Barry and Erica shock the world/high school talent show audience that night, but a Christmas tree and a giant candy cane also got an unexpected surprise. The crowd erupted in cheers (not laughter), which led to a standing ovation of family and friends.
Even Murray was overcome with excitement and uncharacteristic pride.
What really sealed the deal was a magical move from Barry who, somehow, manged to break a piece of wood with his foot!
It looked something like this…
(It also helps if the director/younger brother replaces real wood with balsa wood)
Every parent wants their children to succeed and there are moments of unfiltered pride that may seem utterly strange and, by all accounts, bad from everybody else’s perspective. But sometimes that overzealous, unrelenting support can lead to a pretty spectacular result.
And Beverly couldn’t have expressed her love for her children any better than the following statement of poetic genius for her middle child Barry.
“No one tells my baby he can’t cobra strike!”
“Mom Goggles” can be pretty cool.
The Top 10 (well, 12) Christmas Movies
10. Elf
9. White Christmas
8. A Charlie Brown Christmas/The Santa Clause
7. The Polar Express
6. Home Alone & Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
5. The Muppet Christmas Carol
4. A Christmas Story
3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
2. It’s a Wonderful Life
and the #1 Christmas Movie of All-Time is…
1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
We’re a Little Bit Normal…& A Lot Griswold
From a very young age this became a tradition,
exploring foreign lands became our mission
Christmas vacations with the family led us to thrilling locations,
and exposed us to new and different cultures of various nations
My Mom, Dad, two older sisters and I did this together,
and made the trek no matter the weather
These trips started with a cruise in the Caribbean on a boat so grand,
that gave us the joy of feeling the heat of the Christmas sun firsthand
Kauai was a beautiful place that was like heaven,
we even met Pierce Brosnan, that’s right, 007!

Alaska, Iceland, Norway and Sweden gave us all wintry chills,
riding into snow covered adventures over those magical hills
Some of our trips were to places surprisingly pretty,
like Ushuaia, also known as the world’s southern most city
One part of the world had a special kind of allure and power,
unknown to most, including, at this point, Matt Lauer
It was a hotel made completely of ice,
including the bed, which was a definite roll of the dice
Here I tasted lingonberry juice for the first time while standing in snow,
in a block made of, well, you know
But alas, there is more to our journeys than snowmobiles and a sleigh ride,
like the wonderful food we excitedly tried
There was that night we broke bread with some Norwegians,
whilst getting a crash course in eating tendencies of the Scandinavian regions
One dish, two dish, three dish four-five and six,
together we desperately wondered, “how much more will they fix?”
Yet if you think this was a crazy dinner to be at,
wait until you read what, or who, I’ve kept hidden under the vacation meal hat…
There was one dinner I will never forget that ended with an uncomfortable recognition,
the main course was reindeer…I think you will excuse the following omission
Some hilariously inappropriate jokes have been told and a few you wouldn’t believe,
Like my Dad once telling a customs agent about where we were all conce—
Nevertheless, traveling is a bit of an art for my family, oh my,
Like strolling through freezing Beijing for eight hours that left me pleading, “but why?”
The answer was not found in the worn soles of my shoes,
but instead right in front of me with countless breathtaking views
Whether by car, train, plane or walking a long street,
How we arrived on time at these places was always a feat
Egypt, Australia, Belgium, Germany, Bali and Dubai,
each celebrating with festive spirit as majestic as Versailles
A good deal of our family’s traveling occurred during this time of year,
which always got us inspired and full of cheer
This family tradition led us into multiple passports with stamps galore,
with continents at 7 and thirty to forty countries we’ve come to adore
Memories were created that will last forever,
and when I have a family, I hope they too will enjoy this yearly endeavor!
Merry Christmas!!!