Daily Archives: December 11, 2013

The Coolest Cobra Strike You’ve Ever Seen

Every Mom at some point or another has worn a particular pair of glasses in her life.

It’s true.

As Beverly Goldberg demonstrated last night with a simple stroll past her two sons wrestling (excuse me, doing kara-te!) in the living room, she showed that she owned a pair of “Mom Goggles.”

Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of “The Goldbergs” from December 10, 2013

What are “Mom Goggles” you ask? It’s a specific type of lens a Mom sees the world through whereby which everything her child or children does is unequivocally amazing, perfect and life-altering. This special perspective is the equal combination of excitement, denial and a unique kind of love that only a Mother can give.

This guidance and encouragement can even lead to showing up at her son’s high school to threaten (in the funniest way possible) the talent show director, Mr. Glasscott, for denying her breathtaking Barry from shining a light on the world with his incredibly uncoordinated and non-karate karate performance in front of the entire school.

The performance would not be considered “cool” by any stretch of the imagination. The cool kids in the crowd would surely ridicule him.

Strangely enough though, after Beverly Goldberg’s meet-and-greet with Mr. Glasscott, that had elements of verbal karate, news broke in suburban Philadelphia the the Tri-State Talent Show Committee had overruled the high school and would, therefore, give Barry his black belt/his Dad’s robe belt back!

The only other thing standing in Barry’s was, well, a dinner roll.

And yes, this matter clearly warranted a Tri-State ruling. Those talent shows are incomparably high octane. Just be sure not to mess with the National Talent Show Committee.

While “The Karate Kid” was getting a Goldberg-reboot courtesy of director/robber with a panty-hose mask and lethal red light saber Adam, Erica was preparing to act cool by sitting in the front row to witness her brother’s genuinely spectacular knockout (KO). It’s what older sisters do (I know from personal experience). However, Pops didn’t see it that way. He saw the situation differently.

Call it “Pops Goggles.”

First, it was singing. Then, it was the banjo. The accordion was also mentioned as an alternative. No dice. Erica was as unmoved as Pops reading a magazine with “Eight Ways to Catch a Hunk.”

Then, after a frank discussion from Murray Goldberg to Mr. Glasscott, news broke again in the talent show universe when the National Talent Show Committee overruled the Tri-State Talent Show Committee to allow Barry to continue his dream of kara-te. What are the odds!? Although, it does makes sense: national would trump the tri-state.

The night of the talent show was ripe for glory, as well as a surprise or two…

The time had come for Barry to showcase his ninja skills, despite the very unusual bickering between the Tri-State and National Talent Show Committees and his Dad’s wisdom to refrain from performing with a touching story from his youth.

It was time to transform the high school auditorium into Barry’s own personal dojo.

There was just one thing standing in the way of Barry annihilating his competition: a last second realization of the humiliation of what was about to occur stage right. Then, out of nowhere, a familiar face appeared backstage. Finally inspired by her grandfather’s persistence (and a guitar with a sweet note), Erica decided to pull out her own ninja moves…

With a new, but trusty red electric guitar, Erica decided to hit the talent show audience “with her best shot” Pat Benatar style. It was sensational.

But what do you get when one Goldberg gets on stage?

Answer: Three Goldbergs!

Inspired by his sister’s courage, reception and song choice, Barry built up his own courage (and cobra strike) and took the stage for an unforgettable kara-te demonstration with zealous brother Adam. Not only did Barry and Erica shock the world/high school talent show audience that night, but a Christmas tree and a giant candy cane also got an unexpected surprise. The crowd erupted in cheers (not laughter), which led to a standing ovation of family and friends.

Even Murray was overcome with excitement and uncharacteristic pride.

What really sealed the deal was a magical move from Barry who, somehow, manged to break a piece of wood with his foot!

It looked something like this…

(It also helps if the director/younger brother replaces real wood with balsa wood)

Every parent wants their children to succeed and there are moments of unfiltered pride that may seem utterly strange and, by all accounts, bad from everybody else’s perspective. But sometimes that overzealous, unrelenting support can lead to a pretty spectacular result.

And Beverly couldn’t have expressed her love for her children any better than the following statement of poetic genius for her middle child Barry.

“No one tells my baby he can’t cobra strike!”

“Mom Goggles” can be pretty cool.