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There’s Nothing to Worry About

“Do you want to go out this Friday?”

Far too often, single men and women are overly analytical when it comes to dating. Both sexes can be found guilty in this respect. And whether it’s a first date or trying to secure a second date, hysteria starts to overwhelm any sense of calmness.

“Why hasn’t she texted yet? She replied quickly to everything else I wrote. Should I have disagreed with her about that book she likes? Does she like me for the right reasons?”

This anxiousness, I think, started to become a hyper-obsession with increasing popularity and frequency of romantic comedies, as well as the introduction of social media. Now, it must be stated that some rom-coms are good and that social media and texting can be fantastic mediums for communicating early on in a relationship and/or dating. There is literally almost nothing better in the earliest phase of dating than a girl you like replying to your text with those three dots blinking that results in a sweet sentiment and a smiley face.

Admit it, your eyes light up.

When Facebook first came out (well, as thefacebook.com) in 2004, it was an incredible bridge for young men and women in college to flirt and introduce themselves beyond a quick “hello” in the cafeteria in a new, non-traditional fashion (ironically, this is traditional practice now). However, Facebook is not the same now as when it first entered our lives ~ a decade ago. Regardless, Facebook was a better, more interactive alternative to email. There was an investment in it. Those moments of waiting for a response in-between classes always had a fun, surprise element to it.

Interestingly, this is all kind of amusing because nerves and butterflies are a good thing when meeting someone new. In fact, it’s a great feeling. This experience should be exciting and different from any other routine activity. If you’re not excited, then something’s wrong. Dating is a thrilling game, intended to reveal a potentially natural magnetism towards someone special…or not. But in the case of the former, all those nerves instantly translate into the most indescribable feelings of happiness.

It’s a truly beautiful thing.

We should accept these nerves as they are because when we meet the right person, the payoff will be eternally worthwhile. We shouldn’t panic and sift through every single detail of our interactions with this person. We should just go with the flow.

Case and point: Instead of over-analyzing the social media aspects of dating and communicating with someone we like, I should have just played the following clip:

Larry David, the man who co-authored the brilliant comedic movement about nothing, has somehow (once again) taught us everything we need to know about interacting with people in various situations.

Despite being a fish in the dark, his vision’s pretty, pretty good.

By the Power of Grayskull, Fools Will Fall

Spoiler Alert: Content in this blog post is from the April 1, 2015 episode of The Goldbergs

When the creation of the Momager (Mom + Manager) isn’t the highlight of the show, that’s a sign the Goldberg family hit the right notes in their special April Fools’-themed episode (did you notice Barry’s t-shirt flash changes between the Flyers and Flames?). In a half hour that featured one of those pandemonium-filled free concerts in malls across America of yesteryear by the it performer of that time and a prank war that rivaled the Cold War, suburban Philadelphia could not be prepared for what would transpire.

The picture that developed from these events will haunt our dreams forever…

From pretending to destroy the cherished shoe of a 76er great to obliterating Castle Grayskull to removing all susceptible targets of destruction from one’s room to dismantling a video camera, Adam and Barry did not participate, but were heavily invested in winning April Fools’ Day. It got serious really quickly and elevated to a level that could have broken them. But, after completely confusing 3-4 major conflicts, Barry did manage to understand the importance of the Berlin Wall falling down.

A truce was necessary. Adam’s livelihood at school was saved (you’ll see).

Meanwhile, Erica was busy obsessing over the parties she and Tiffany would inevitably host together once they were both touring pop superstars. Like every girl alive, she dreamed of singing to thousands of screaming, adoring fans. Then came the “pusher” and the “smusher” (ie- Beverly and Murray). It was Beverly’s surefire parenting trick to encourage her children to do anything, but with a contingency (the practicality of Murray) to push them back to reality. Except in this case, Murray flipped the script on his speechless wife. The result was a labyrinth of role reversals between the three that eventually led to Erica’s fiscally tight dad giving his aspirational daughter $200 to follow her dreams in recording a demo tape.

The fluorescent t-shirts are ready for sale (contact the Momager for more information).

By having two older sisters, I never experienced the glorious prank battles between brothers. My sisters and I had an insane amount of fun together with unforgettable memories and sometimes the dynamic was like I had an older brother, but there was no Big Tasty rapping his horribly specific rhymes in my childhood. Regardless, I remember idolizing a famous singer/band and going into a record store and buying their CD (that’s the physical version of a digital download, young people) or, like Adam, enjoying everything amazing by Steven Spielberg.

I had/have dreams of one day acting in a Steven Spielberg movie. Crazy, right? Well, whether it happens or not, that’s a good thing. Just like Beverly and Murray, it’s important to promote the idea that anything is attainable. Murray “The Smusher” Goldberg put it best: He told his daughter that while there are millions of other girls trying to become a famous pop star like her, she needs to remember that she is an original.

And Tiffany Renee Darwish had to work hard to take the improbable journey to become Tiffany. Everything seems crazy until it happens.

Including this:

 

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

The Real Beverly 1, The Real Adam 0.

Everyday is April Fools’ Day with Beverly Goldberg.

Have a Little Faith on the Edge

Spoiler Alert: Content from this blog post is from the March 25, 2015 episode of The Goldbergs

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

Like any good sitcom, the objective is to humorously dance on the border of what’s funny and what’s not, what’s acceptable and what’s taboo. In the case of The Goldbergs last night, they literally dealt with lines of acceptable behavior in ways they haven’t before.

When it gets real, you’re gonna feel…almost as much as those lost boys from that ’80s cult classic.

“So, which boy is lost? His poor mother must be going insane.”

On more than a few occasions in our lives, we’ll get angry. In fact, we’ll get so piping mad that we’ll build everything up that’s bothering us for an explosion that would rival Pompeii. That unlucky person at the bottom better prepare for the hottest lava they’ve ever seen and thought possible. Then, it happens. Bottled up emotions are released and our message has finally gotten across to that certain someone.

Victory at last! Line = crossed.

Barry and Erica stood up to their mom’s ridiculous guilt-tripping antics. It was long overdue. In their minds, if they didn’t do something dramatic, then they had failed as children (self high-five).

The result? They stranded their über (not the car service) loving mom on the side of a road for her to walk home, until she’s rescued and dropped off by a nice police officer.

Uh oh.

The consequence? Succumbing to a bedazzling session that would make Liberace blush.

On the other side of town was Adam and Murray at a Phillies game. As is the situation at most every baseball game, the real exciting action takes place off the field. Adam, determined to prove once-and-for-all that he was in fact a man to his frustrated father, chose the all-too-familiar disgusting stadium bathroom (without decorative soaps, mind you!) as his Death Star to conquer. The only problem was Luke Adam forgot to remember where his seat was…Being lost in a stadium, before cell phones, was a terrifying ordeal. There’s literally almost nothing to do. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack., except this needle is your kid/dad and there’s a time limit with serious fears of never seeing him again.

So, what does a man do in this maze of fear?

A real man (in a split second) is able to prioritize what’s truly important in life and shut everything else out. We refrain from using whatever ammunition we had saved up for our boisterous proclamations and, instead, use our energy to make sure the other person is alright. That’s precisely what happened when Adam finally saw his dad worriedly waiting for him by the car in the cleared parking lot.

Even more important than children (11, 14 or however old they are?) obeying their parents’ sometimes absurd wishes is realizing that parents are in a similar dynamic. They can be argumentative, stern and just as capable of overreacting as their children. Ironically though, parents want exactly what their angst-filled kids want: for them to be happy, independent and to feel safe. And John Hiatt’s “Have a Little Faith in Me” was the perfect song to capture this sentiment at the end of arguably the most sincere Goldbergs episode yet.

One of the best parts about family is that they give us plenty of chances to learn this essential life lesson, with hilariously awkward moments sprinkled in bedazzled on.

It’s as awesome as high-fiving a dolphin.

Happy Monday!

Is a fifth Mission: Impossible possible? Well, the official full-length trailer was just released:

Hang on come July 31, 2015!