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The Goldbergs are an Amazesome Family
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of the episode of “The Goldbergs” from March 11, 2014.
Playing a sport you don’t enjoy (& are not good at) is a tough gig, even without the added pressure of a parent who is obsessed with said sport. In the case of Adam Goldberg, hockey was not just slippery. But, for him, it also came with a slope of disaster. His dad Murray was an avid hockey fan, in which he had a strong bond with his surprisingly hockey-athletic son Barry.
Yes, turns out Barry is a maestro at something. But rest assured, the over confident and ridiculous advice is the exact same. The Universe is still aligned the way it should be with plenty of laughs.
In a moment of sure glory for Adam during a big game, he found the puck at his stick with the final seconds ticking away on the scoreboard in a 1-1 tie near the goal. Realizing this was “his shot” to be a great hockey player and to impress his dad in the stands, Adam swung as hard as he could and scored the game winning goal…for the other team.
Sadly (but humorously), Adam realized this devastating news after a post goal dance that mimicked that of his older brother.
It was “Bad News Bears,” ’80s style.
Something had to be done to repair Adam’s confidence. Luckily for him, Barry is always popping out from around the corner to offer typical big brother solace with equal parts absurdity and folly.
Speaking of absurdity and folly, Erica was preparing for the SATs and Beverly was keen on helping her daughter in fulfilling her lifelong dream. And by “her,” this is of course was in reference to Beverly. Erica had scored well enough on a practice exam to get into Penn, but she discovered just 20 or so points higher translated to likely acceptance to Stanford. Unfortunately for Beverly, this was not the Philadelphia branch. It was, in fact, across the country in California. 20,000 miles, according to Beverly.
Advanced tutoring sessions were about to take place by Beverly for Erica, but in ways that were really unbelievable…literally.
In a genuine effort to prove to his dad that he could play hockey, Adam sought the guidance of Barry (first mistake, but we’ll continue on). Fittingly, Barry told young Adam to forget about “playing hockey” and to instead dedicate his time and effort to becoming an enforcer: one who protects the star players with unbound aggression and dirty tricks.
However, not even Run-D.M.C. would have approved of Barry’s suggested ‘tricky tricks.’
This led to a fascinating discourse between brothers on the point that since Barry was teaching Adam the ancient art of a goon, that that meant Adam was training to become a goonie…
It actually makes perfect sense. Think about it…
After an excessive lesson on throwing gloves on the ground, Adam was ready for his debut. And boy, did he ever score with his new-found role.
As Erica’s practice scores continued to rise, Beverly got desperate. This included unapologetic proclamations of visiting her every weekend regardless of her daughter’s collegiate destination. Palo Alto or even the Moon would never keep Beverly Goldberg away. So, to keep Erica’s scores strictly in the “Penn zone,” Beverly literally made up vocabulary words for Erica to memorize.
It was a flimjammed situation.
Erica quickly caught on to her mom’s trick. Throughout the episode, they had frank discussions of how the love between a mother-daughter works. They engaged in multiple exchanges with lots of passionate/angry/loving energy.
“You’d better come over here and hug your momma before I punch you in the face!”
“I hate that you love me so much!”
Returning back to Adam, Barry may have forgotten to inform his younger brother (now a goonie…) that an enforcer does not start something with an opposing player at the first face off to start the game. As punishment for this violation of “goon protocol,” Adam’s target dragged him across the ice and literally scored a goal with Adam himself.
Hockey was not going to work. Instead, with the (again) surprisingly helpful wisdom of Barry, Murray realized he needed to reach Adam on his son’s level: space and home movies. After a failed first take, Murray discovered a giant container of ketchup and a package of white t-shirts would connect him with his son in ways he never would have imagined possible.
This led to one of those quintessential Hallmark card father-son moments: a home movie featuring an alien creature piercing the chest of a father lying on the kitchen table with lots of blood and science fiction chaos.
With Big Country’s classic, “In a Big Country” playing in the background, Beverly and Murray learned that their capacity to support their children’s opposing fascinations could stretch as far as the United States from coast to coast…all 20,000 miles of it.
One thing that doesn’t need to be made up is the fact that The Goldbergs is amazingly awesome…or, as Beverly would say, amazesome.
The Goldbergs ‘R’ Good Enough
Spoiler Alert: This is a Recap of “The Goldbergs” from March 4, 2014
Using our imagination to create something out of nothing is a skill and, in some cases, a magically inspiring art form. This random, cognitive creativity can be accelerated to levels unbound when influenced by a mythical story, like say the 1985 cult classic The Goonies.
“I’m just about to watch the good part. Which is all of it.”
Unfortunately for Adam, his love for The Goonies was discovered and exposed by Barry and Erica, his older brother and sister. This led to an adventure of epic proportions that took Adam and his cast of Goonie-dressed friends (plus Barry and Erica) directly across the street by way of riding their movie-inspired bikes to, according to the “treasure map,” look into opening of the neighbors tree, which revealed…
That Adam had to (once again) endure the tortuous pranks by his older siblings. His friends were sympathetic, but his journey was destroyed by a sibling prank. Even his friend designated Chunk (with the help of a pillow) was complaining about having to eat a chocolate bar instead of a granola bar.
For fans of the movie, the latter was the final bullet hole in the Jeep Cherokee.
The thrill of discovering a lost treasure on a giant pirate ship hidden deep below his suburban street was gone. Mikey Adam had to face the reality that his quest for finding buried treasure had come to an end.
Or so he thought…
While famous scenes and characters from The Goonies were perfectly recreated with an unforgettable soundtrack, Beverly and Murray were insisting that Pops get his finances in order. The days of 3 massages/week and buying pancakes for everybody in the local diner were over (who likes Bloody Mary’s?). Beverly was searching for and desperate to find jewelry that Pops had insisted he had given to her years ago. However, both Pops and Beverly knew he never did, but they entertainingly danced around that reality for a little while when Beverly decided to clean the entire house to prove her point.
While some may describe this effort as a waste of time, how else would Beverly have found a small collection of household necessities like throwing stars, delicious snacks hidden in secret places and a machete?
Okay, after reading what she found, I know what you’re thinking…What kinds of snacks did she find? The answer: the best kinds!
During this third-degree investigation into the affluent life of Pops (where a half-birthday in a couple months equaled $20), he was panicking to remember where he put the jewelry meant for Beverly. Enter Adam. Despite a failed first attempt for precious gold and silver coins, he, (like the Goonies) was relentless in his quest for treasure. Adam took the case and enlisted his Goonies crew once more.
Feeling bad for teasing their younger brother (and the fact he said they were “dead to him” in that fun, sibling kind of way), Barry and Erica got back in character to find Pops’ missing bag of jewelry. Returning back to their attic of secrets, a ripped piece of sheet music + a forgotten framed picture = “X/the spot.”
Riding their bikes to Cyndi Lauper’s classic, “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough,” the Goldbergs and friends ventured down to Pops’ old/Murray’s currently-owned furniture store. They needed to find an old piano in storage. With Barry’s help to life a heavy box (still easier than a boulder), Adam crawled under to find the piano and opened it up to find…
The treasure/bag of jewelry!
Even without a ghost pirate ship passing by in the distance, it was still an unequivocal success.
Adam got his Goonies adventure, Beverly got her promised bag of jewelry and Barry and Erica started to realize just how much fun it was to escape reality for a day with their movie-obsessed little brother.
For Adam (and Pops), it all worked out.
And things especially “worked out” for Barry and his private aerobic instructor: his mom Beverly.
Big Tasty got fit with a parade of awesome mother-son bonding.
“Hey, you guys,” these fun, goofy moments and random adventures are the ones we all treasure forever.
“Goonies/Goldbergs/Your Last Name Never Say Die!”
When Trust Met the Unknown
“But I trust you.”
“No you don’t.”
“I don’t.”
Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of the February 4, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs
Trust.
It’s a tricky concept. Everybody says they want to trust someone and yet there is this natural instinct to abandon all of that supposed faith and replace it with relentless suspicion that takes oneself down to the figurative (and literal) level of the second floor corner next to an air vent that’s adjacent to your daughter’s room.
This specific condition is known as “Seal Team Beverly.”
The never-ending battle between a mother and her teenage daughter can shake and interrupt everything and everyone around them (like a classic ’80s television talent show featuring a one-legged model!) with their verbal spats that look and feel equivalent to volcanic eruptions. There are constant accusations and invasions of privacy, which Beverly cannot believe as she’s moved on from reading her daughter’s fake, planted diary to the real one she found hidden under the mattress.
Erica had faith her mom would find it…
The only relationship dynamic more entertaining than Beverly v. Erica was Adam + Emmy. Best friends since before they could even remember, these two neighborhood siblings were joined together by a shared love of movies, adolescent hijinks, worms and Big Tasty’s fresh beats (he’s always movin’ and groovin’ like a rad Ferris wheel ya’ll). But what Big Tasty Barry had in store for his much more innocent younger brother would send awkward shock waves into one of Adam’s most precious possessions: his friendship with Emmy.
Barry explained how it was only a matter of time before Adam and Emmy would finally kiss. And if there was one person who was uniquely qualified to give his younger brother advice on girls…it was not Barry. Why so harsh on the older brother?
Five words: Beaded curtains and whale sounds.
This harshness is underscored with great humor and admiration for a young man trying to figure the world out, as we all do. We’ve all been Barry at some point in our lives.
Anyways, Adam took Pops’ advice and invited Emmy over to watch When Harry Met Sally to see if they were more than friends. Unfortunately, Pops never finished the movie, which left Adam and Emmy not wanting what the movie had (ie-kissing or romance). This forced Adam to want to leave his own house. Within seconds, Emmy left his house in a sprint. Their relationship had changed as fast as Indiana Jones running away from a giant boulder in an ancient cave.
What was the only thing that could save Adam and Emmy? Ironically (and perfectly), a grand romantic gesture…
Between Erica fooling her mom into thinking she had eaten “the crack rocks” with a fake journal entry and Beverly listening in on her daughter’s phone calls, father Murray was rather relaxed. Although, he usually is with his daughter. They have a very special “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of relationship.
But that was about to change.
Besides demanding he have peace and quiet to watch in awe as a one-legged model strutted down the runway, Murray was quite content to let life happen for Erica. Nothing to fear with his teenage daughter as she’s just having fun during her high school years. He kept insisting to Beverly that she was overreacting. Why was Erica’s bed sheet not tightly hugging the mattress? As far as Murray was concerned, it didn’t matter. That was, until his wife dropped this bombshell of reality on him that night…
“Your baby girl is at a college frat house wearing a thin layer of bedding.”
Content just met the burnout of a station wagon!
For Erica, being grown-up at a college party was supposed to be fun and transcendent with older, suave gentlemen. To say it was the complete opposite would be very accurate, especially after her friend bailed to check-out an aquarium. This left Erica stranded on “high school girl at a college party” island. This, plus bumping into the beer can mountain, solidified the fact that she couldn’t be trusted. Her mom was right. Erica wanted to go home. But that reconciliatory tone that left her feeling slightly embarrassed was replaced with complete embarrassment when her mom and dad showed up in a station wagon outside the bustling frat house.
After Murray was somehow distracted by the infamous “aquarium,” Beverly had a heart-to-heart with her dejected and angry daughter. What was said? Basically, every daughter wants freedom, but every mother won’t trust her daughter enough to give her that freedom. The opening quote of this post says it all. And with this genuine confession and realization came peace between mother and daughter…at least until the next weekend.
As for Adam, he watched When Harry Met Sally again and had an epiphany. In that instant, dressed to the nines as a game show host, he ran out the door and down a street of raining sprinklers to Emmy’s front door. When she answered, he pulled her down into the “rain” and confessed that every reason why Harry loved Sally was the complete opposite of why he liked her. Sally would never put a worm on her face, but Emmy would…and did.
Adam didn’t love Emmy and Emmy didn’t love Adam, but they liked each other as friends and partners in crime. It was one of the most romantic, yet unromantic confessions between two people (with help of “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister).
It was perfect. It was Adam + Emmy again.
Barry, in his unique effort to impress his crush, made sure he had the beaded curtains and a mustard colored shirt with small geometric shapes ready for an afternoon study session…in the kitchen…with his mom nearby. Even when Beverly with her new found sense of trust for her children (though temporary) told Barry they could move up into his room, his attractive study partner refused. She not only refused the relocation invitation, but more shockingly she wasn’t tempted by the whale sounds?
Weird.
All in all, parents and children alike must work hard to demonstrate a mutual understanding of one’s motives and reasoning for a variety of life’s complicated circumstances.
Trust cannot be found hidden in a journal or in a famous movie, but only in our hearts…until that 11:00 p.m. curfew Mr. Mister!
Jimmy's Daily Planet 