Protecting Thy Kingdom with Hyper-Hilarity

Spoiler Alert: This is a recap of the March 18, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs:

We’ve all been there.

There are moments when we surprise someone close to us because we make the assumption that it will “be good for them.” We want this person to feel better by doing a nice gesture for them. This gift can be delivered in a variety of fashions, including off-white leather, which was the case for the quintessential creature of habit Murray Goldberg.

He wears the same style of pants, shirt, socks and underwear (the latter was of some importance in this episode…). Once home, Murray proceeds to take off his shoes and khaki pants (as we all do) and make the trek to his favorite chair (“Mr. Chair”) that is reminiscent of Marty Crane’s reclining kingdom of masterpiece furniture in Frasier. The only difference is Murray’s throne consists of darker colors, but the spirit and eye-catching attention it demands are identical.

In some ways, Marty and Murray are kindred sitcom spirits…

Beverly Goldberg, however, was having none of this. The time had come for change and this change arrived as tall and enforcing as Beverly’s perfectly styled hair with help from her best friend Aqua Net.

“I need to command respect with my giant hair!”

What Beverly did not anticipate was the scheming mobility of her usually statuesque husband. The journey of revenge to surprise each other with preemptive decisions took predictable and unpredictable turns, including a Benihana-quality fish display and feeding frat guys carrots and celery sticks.

They are the Goldbergs after all.

While this humorous game of hide-and-seek between their parents was occurring, Adam and Barry engaged in a similar mind game. Tired of scratching spit balls off his glasses and books, along with having his face plastered against the window of his school bus, Adam decided to hire a bodyguard to combat a bully. Unfortunately for him, Kevin Costner wasn’t available and he had to settle for his hot tempered, Hulk-like older brother Barry.

Hey, you know what it’s like to wait 10 weeks for a football phone that hasn’t come, which was promised to arrive in 8 weeks. You get angry!

Anyways, Adam’s plan appeared to be working as his big bad brother Barry commanded every one’s attention and fear on the school bus, thereby allowing Adam to ride to and from school without fear, as well as being spit ball free. This was true, until his plan backfired more quickly than he ever could have imagined. One thing you have to understand is that if you release the Hulk, there’s no telling what will happen.

Ironically, Adam neutralized one bully, but created an even bigger one. Barry had to be stopped. But how?

Quite literally, the Hulk’s true colors needed to be revealed by way of Hypercolor.

Continuing their game of raiding each others’ treasured possessions, the Goldberg household lost a stove, a television, Aqua Net (which led to Beverly’s bangs being accidentally burned off by daughter Erica) and a drawer full of tightie whities replaced by boxer shorts (which became a “TMI” crisis of epic proportions). However, thanks to Murray, they gained a microwave. Pops had the perfect reaction to his first bag of microwaved popcorn, which is something I can personally relate to with the radioactive energy of a thousand suns.

“A cure for polio, a man on the Moon, and now this!”

Beverly finally (though unassumingly) revealed her true motives for getting rid of and replacing Murray’s old, worn chair: she wanted it gone for her, not because it was would help Murray. After Murray explained his perspective to this realization, which she could relate to for the important things she cherishes within her personal kingdom, Beverly knew what she had to do.  

Frustratingly, it involved a road from Goodwill to a frat house of an Animal House-likeness.

After refusing claims to lift her top in a frat house as part of a negotiation for Murray’s old chair, Beverly cleverly (yup, that just happened!) convinced the frat guy that he was, in fact, the only boob in the room. A clean frat house and a tasty vegetable medley turned out to be the perfect juxtaposed recipe for returning “Mr. Chair” to its rightful suburban kingdom.

Rising up to a bully can be treacherous, but that’s exactly what Adam, his former bully (wonderful irony) and the entire school bus did. The Hulk Barry was thrown from the bus with the help of a hundred hands, which was hilariously visible on his blue Hypercolor shirt. The two day reign of terror was over, but the back story required another scene.

Interestingly and bravely, Barry disclosed to his younger brother that, at school, some of his classmates tease and bully him. He confessed that it felt nice to have control of a situation, like that on Adam’s school bus. Then, as Barry gave Adam his binder of Garbage Pail Kids back, he assured Adam that he will always protect him for free because he’s his brother.

This moment, like the one between Beverly and Murray when “Mr. Chair” was reintroduced in the family room, underscores the 1986 classic, “The Glory of Love.”

The love of your family: Trust me, it’s good for you.

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Posted on March 19, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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