Daily Archives: April 3, 2013

Bottom of the Eighth

“As a celebration of the magic of movies involving baseball, at least one scene from a different film will be posted each day for the next nine days…”
—From “Top of the First” March 28th

Cleveland, Ohio is one of the heartbreak cities of sports in America. For decades, their teams have not been able to catch the ultimate break and reward the “Sixth City” with a major professional championship. Is there anybody who can become the “savior” of this city? (no, not him). How about a man with an incomparable style, somebody who has a certain women-loving way about him and all with a tolerance for speed that nobody can match?

Not for the reasons you’re thinking of, but yes: Charlie Sheen.

Could he lead “The Tribe” again? Just in the rare circumstance he declines, below is a “how-to” guide for the next wildly successful Indians pitcher. 

Glue a skull to the front of your glasses, walk onto the pitcher’s mound, turn your back to the baddest hitter in the game as he struts to home plate, put the glasses on, spin around and pull off a stare-down worthy of a Wild West duel. If you do this, then you’re one pivotal step closer to becoming a certifiable “Major League Wild Thing.”

Below is the instructional video:

After that high-pressure strikeout, you know the Cleveland Indians fans were chanting, “Winning!” in some way or another.

Advertisement

Top of the Eighth

“As a celebration of the magic of movies involving baseball, at least one scene from a different film will be posted each day for the next nine days…”
—From “Top of the First” March 28th

Imagine being back in middle school, one of the most uncomfortable phases in life. Your name is Henry Rowengartner. While hanging around the baseball field at school, one of the kids publicly makes fun of you for embarrassingly throwing a ball over the fence for a home run…for the other team! (tunnel vision can be a killer). He then instantaneously challenges you to catch a high soaring fly ball he hits into the sky in your direction. The girl of your dreams is watching in anticipation to see if you’ll redeem yourself. You start sprinting to make the heroic catch, but instead wildly trip on a stray baseball in the grass and land awkwardly, breaking your arm.

Ouch! In more ways than one…

This is the beginning of the movie, “Rookie of the Year.” After having a cast on into the beginning of summer, the day has arrived to remove the white hot compression box (speaking from personal experience).

“I’m looking for Henry Rulenfurter.

Henry Rowengartner?

Yeah.”

When I broke my arm and had to wear a cast during the summer of 1996, I didn’t subsequently pitch for the Chicago Cubs. Instead, I got the entire Mexican Olympic soccer team’s autographs, along with several other Olympians while in Atlanta for the XXVI Olympiad. However, the most treasured signing of all was “Carl the Scalper.” Why? He sold my Dad and me Dream Team tickets versus Lithuania!

“Starting at guard, number 6, Penny Hardaway!”

The lesson from all of this: Awkwardly break your arm, wear a cast in the summertime and amazing things will happen!
(Just kidding, but only kind of…)