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Dancin’ on a Prayer
Spoiler Alert: This post contains scenes or content from the May 13, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs, the season finale.
The ’80s are officially back!
The hit freshman ABC sitcom The Goldbergs starring Wendi McLendon-Covey (Beverly), Jeff Garlin (Murray), Sean Giambrone (Adam), Hayley Orrantia (Erica), Troy Gentile (Barry), George Segal (Pops) and Patton Oswalt (Older Adam/Narrator) has been renewed for a full second season, moving to Wednesday nights at 9:30 p.m. this Fall.
Congratulations to everybody involved with The Goldbergs, most especially the creator of this pitch-perfect nostalgic treasure of a show Adam F. Goldberg! This news is pure awesomeness!
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We’ve all seen the cult classics that feature that legen-wait for it (sorry, wrong show) legendary house party set during high school. Pizza spinning like a record, impromptu, yet perfectly choreographed dancing scenes between high schoolers and the dream girl hanging-out across the room waiting for Prince Charming to emerge from the chaos of her immature classmates to prove his distinguishing worth.
And Big Tasty made sure this moment would be golden…with his thick gold chain necklace. But hey, it’s Barry, just go with it.
Reliving the “glory days” of our youth is usually cause for pause (Big Tasty isn’t the only one with fresh rhymes!), but not for Murray. The patriarch of the Goldbergs, would, only every so often, reveal insanely cool tidbits about his life that would shock his kids with priceless expressions and intrigue. Like that time he was in a plane crash, met Lou Reed while he was a waiter or the fact that he once made 70+ consecutive free throws back in high school.
No big deal.
Except when his wife Beverly finds out he was invited to his old high school to be celebrated for his tremendous accomplishment. She said yes, regardless of what Murray wanted to do. Murray rebutted, but this is Beverly Goldberg we’re talking about. So, what happened? Beverly prepared dinner for her snuggle monsters and they left the kids under the careful supervision of their cool grandpa, Pops.
What could go wrong?
After a disappointing year for Barry, who never got his crush to even learn his name (“Gustav? I’m not the foreign exchange student!”), he wanted to do something big…something that people (ie-Lexy Bloom) would never forget. Younger brother-with-a-video-camera Adam put it best, with nothing short of pure elation.
“This is my Risky Business.”
There’s just one thing about the past, which is that it’s sometimes hard to match with the realities of the present. In some cases, this reality can hit as embarrassingly flat as an air ball at the free throw line in front of everybody during a break at the big game after shooting granny style. Despite the fact that that shooting technique may have been popular back in the day (sure it was Murray…), it’s a tough fall from grace and past invincibility. What can be even tougher is trying to create those memories of glory in the present.
Enter Barry, with the help of Pops, Erica and the always wandering and analog-recording eye of Adam.
The party (sorry, the Sweater Party) reminded me of when I was just a few months into the experience of being a SigEp (Sigma Phi Epsilon) at college in the northeast during 2000-something, far from my home in Ohio. I was shy, basically only saying “here” at chapter meetings. There was a shortage of participants for the annual “Greek God and Goddess” competition.
I reluctantly volunteered.
Panicked, I had to think of a talent…Then, it hit me like the fully-loaded truck in this funny commercial I thankfully remembered. After recruiting two of my female friends from down the hall in my dorm and making them an offer they couldn’t and didn’t refuse, they agreed to join me for the performance of my life. During the day, before the performance, I called my Mom and told her what I was planning on doing. I was completely surprised at her response. She said, “Well, if you’re going to do it…then really shake it!”
After changing from my self-made toga, I was now walking up the stairs and onto the stage in front of the entire university Greek life with my two giggling backup dancers. I saw the shocked looks on my brothers’ faces, turned and waited for the music. Once the music started, I turned back to the audience in a tight pink tank top and a short pink skirt and mouthed the words, “let’s go girls.” Yes, I lip-synched and danced to Shania Twain’s empowering anthem “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.” An unexpected standing ovation later and everything had changed forever for the better. I could comfortably talk to girls, including one girl in particular that I had a crush on (who was one of my backup dancers…) like never before and had confidence like never before. And all it took was being random, goofy and dressing like a woman. Who knew?
Barry, who after being caught by his furious parents for throwing a massive party, gave a sincerely inspiring speech about his disappointing year. This convinced Murray to give him 10-minutes to live out his “glory days.” Mine and Barry’s dancing opened us both up to throw our instincts of embarrassment and fear out the window and to follow Bon Jovi’s words to just ‘live on a prayer’ and have fun.
“You’ve seen him run. He needs this.”
There are moments in life when the setting is perfect for letting loose and taking a shot. Barry finally got the genuine attention of Lexy Bloom by letting go of trying to impress her with cheesy lines by just being his carefree self in those glorious 10-minutes while wearing a fly, quintessentially ’80s Adidas track suit before being grounded for the summer with sweater dry cleaning duty (plus a kissing sesh with Erica’s BFF on the dance floor to make Lexy jealous!).
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how we look when we take a shot in life, it’s just a matter of if we can get it in the hoop.
The Goldbergs: Season 2 is happening this Fall at 9:30 p.m. on Wednesday nights on ABC!
P.S. Let’s do this, ’80s style!
Welcome to The Goldbergs: Episode XXII
“Sunday Matinee: It’s like wearing someone else’s wedding dress”
Spoiler Alert: This post contains scenes and content from the May 6, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs
As Adam’s quote above clearly explains, seeing the theatrical release of Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi on opening night became the pinnacle of his existence. And, as all good younger brothers do when they’re in a life-altering quandary (speaking from personal experience here), Adam blackmailed his older sister into waiting with him in line to see this new epic space tale on the silver screen at the local theater.
Obvious success, right?
Think again.
A long line + a long time waiting (Forrest Gump-level soda’s consumed by the excited Adam) + sitting in between a 46 year-old man with a talking Yoda puppet and another grown man sitting on a life-size Tauntaun (no joke) + Erica’s friend walking by with two “cool” guys not into Star Wars = an epic betrayal and two cinnamon rolls/swirly muffins.
We’ll come back to this brother-sister equation a little later.
In the meantime, middle child Barry was busy embracing all things Hulk Hogan (as we all do). Unbeknownst to Barry though, the WWF wasn’t real. After several (yes, it took several) warnings that slamming your opponent over the head with a folded chair was not a legitimate aspect of real wrestling, Barry was training to do whatever it took to impress his crush. For him, this meant earning a varsity jacket. Hilariously, the only person standing in his way was his over-protective mother Beverly Goldberg with her countless stories of fellow teenage boys who all seemed to have tragic mishaps with absolutely everything she didn’t want her son to do.
The stories were totally believable, though. I mean, we’ve all seen a mom carrying the head of her son around the grocery store with her son’s vital organs perfectly functioning from his neck after a freak wrestling accident, right?
Okay, maybe Murray had a point about that one…
Growing up with siblings, there are those special moments that arrive with all the excitement and fanfare of a new Star Wars movie: the instance(s) when an older sister just might become a friend. It’s as rare as holding a real-life lightsaber and it should be treated with as much precision and ecstatic jubilation as waving Luke’s trusted sword made of blue light. This moment occurs during the older sister’s teenage years, which can be difficult because this is when she’s trying to leave behind childish indulgences. This includes dressing up like Princess Leia and battling her then much younger brother dressed as Darth Vader in their basement recorded on VHS (ie-Adam’s winning bargaining chip). As this sitcom does so perfectly, this plot line really hit home for me. My two older sisters and I used to build forts and act goofy all the time in our younger days before the necessity to be “cool” became the undisputed priority of all things important.
For me, it wasn’t Star Wars, but a compendium of events with my two older sisters: It was riding bikes to UDF for ice cream during the summer, playing football with one of my older sister’s friends one Saturday, learning clever and edgy jokes while sitting in an Asian airport while on a family vacation, being “kidnapped” by my sister and her friends for my birthday, trick-or-treating with my sister and her friends, visiting both of them at college and laughing at old-style SNL humor found in Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2.
The relationship between siblings is fascinating and special to say the least, partly because the seemingly unfiltered honesty. We can be blunt with comedic “burns” and it works somehow. We can blackmail our older sister with pictures during her first boy-girl party ($5 a pop!). A comfort level and understanding grows between brother and sister(s), even to the point when Erica finally realizes that after bailing on her younger brother to spend time with her cool friends while he went to the bathroom and therefore lost his place in line, she knew the real reason why Adam coaxed her to seeing Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi with him: the hope for sibling friendship.
Cognizant of her little brother’s sincere motivation, Erica did the unthinkable: she dressed up like Princess Leia (again), fully equipped with cinnamon rolls/swirly muffins on her ears and bribed an usher with a date at the local theater to sneak them into Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi!
“Star Wars: It gave us lightsabers, the force and Billy Dee Williams in a cape.”
And a fun day at the movies between brother and sister.
At school, Barry heeded the wrestling advice of his dad Murray. After suffering defeat on the mat to his mother in front of everybody (don’t mess with Thunder Bev!), he embraced his WWF character (also named Barry from Philadelphia) and dominated his opponent with the support of his family looking on with pride.
Victory!
As his crush looked on with smiling approval, Barry messed that moment up like only Barry could, which led to a halted chair-over-the-head of his opponent finale.
But don’t worry, Big Tasty will be surely be back for another round…
The Goldbergs: Return of the Family.
Love’s Mood Game with a Punch
Spoiler Alert: This post includes content from the April 29, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs:
Addiction.
It’s a seductive lady (or, in Erica’s case, a hunky neighbor) that peers over from across the room like a new arcade game being plugged-in, lit up for the beginning of an unforgettable string of nights together.
It’s new and fun at first, but, if you’re not careful, she’ll knock you right out of your senses. She’ll have you scrounging high and low (emphasis on low) to keep going.
Not even Abraham Lincoln can save you with his luck.
“A penny? Worthless, it’s the garbage of money!”
The video game arcade was archetypal of the 1980s and Adam and Barry were rendered as shocked as the reality that there were “high-definition” animations inside the games. The trouble is when this digitally mastered past-time translates beyond the doors of the gaming wonderland and overtakes your every thought and every reaction. So much so that your younger brother’s prized possession can be traded-in for scraps (well, fifty cents anyways).
What would Han Solo say?
Like a favorite arcade game, that first crush has the same effect in terms of dominating our every sense and every thought. An uncontrollable power unlike most anything else in this world, we are at the beckon call and mercy of our love. But, as Erica tragically discovered, that guiding light of her life that stemmed from a varsity jacket was as fickle as a coach’s starting lineup.
The break-up. The breakdown. The über rational and scientific indicator for knowing how to feel in situations like this.
“My mood ring’s been black for three days!”
Let’s hop in a De Lorean with some Huey Lewis & the News and travel ~ 30 years into the future for a quick moment and see if we can discover the real “power of love.”
Living in the second decade of the 21st century virtually requires a digital footprint on a seemingly infinite grid. There are savvy gadgets, innumerable apps and convenient computers for the desk, lap and hand. The cloud is above us, next to us and in front of us (though sans a reliable, visible presence) every hour we allow that bright glow to permeate through during an intimate dinner conversation or while our eyes are attempting to close for the night.
There is always something to read, something to know and someone to text. Admittedly, the latter is a tremendous feature on our phones, bridging a communication gap with casual conversations here and there throughout the day.
Regardless, when did this happen? Why did we surrender ourselves to the pursuit of endless data? Collecting information is not good or bad in absolute terms, but it does distract us from the natural evolution of ourselves and our surroundings. Every so often, we need to break our technology-centric pattern and wake-up like it’s the 1980s, void of that bright shining light in order to refresh what “data” we really should be absorbing (do I really need to watch every interview with Steven Spielberg tonight?), experiencing and using to help ourselves and the people we care about.
Shouldn’t we be prioritizing our limited time with the people we hold dearest?
Ironically, whether in 2014 or 1980-something, we just need to unplug.
Sometimes, we need to open our bedroom window and yell at our former crush as he or she is chilling in his or her car with their “new love.”
Having a shouting sidekick like Beverly Goldberg doesn’t hurt either.
Plus, the wind can randomly and perfectly lift and hurdle a garbage can through the windshield of a former boyfriend’s car.
Strange how this phenomenon happens in almost every American neighborhood after a break-up…
The Goldbergs reminds us of a simpler time with entertaining stories of how we all struggle with life and our place in it (and the occasional addiction) during our most comically awkward years. Thankfully, human nature and our personal limitations eventually prompt us to turn off our gadgets for a little while or to realize the true price of pawning our younger brother’sMillennium Falcon for a couple plays at Punch-Out!! at the nearby arcade.
Turns out, it was a signed Moses Malone jersey (ouch!).
This personal awareness can also open the door for father Murray Goldberg to finally help his daughter in a very real way with her ailing, broken heart. It’s astonishing what can transpire when we allow someone to show us a helpful, glowingly inspiring alternative.
Like being on the receiving end of a punching bag, there are days when we couldn’t be happier to take a hit for our family.
Once again, The Goldbergs proved the ’80s was a fantastic decade with another heart-warming and entertaining KO.
Here’s the 4-11
April 11th is the ideal day to give the “low-down-down low-no doubt!” of exciting news in popular culture this week.
It’s also a good excuse for the classic Meet the Parents reference above.
Famed director Richard Donner announced this week that a relentlessly buzzed about/requested sequel to the cult-classic The Goonies is going to be a reality on the silver screen. Is this a good idea or bad idea? There are valid reasons for both answers right now, but part of the answer may lie in another long-awaited sequel coming out later this year called Dumb and Dumber To.
Why, you ask?
Because that comedy is widely considered to be, if not the funniest (my vote), then one of the funniest movies ever made. If Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels and the Farrelly brothers can recreate that magic and entertain devoted fans like the 1994 masterpiece, then perhaps taking cinematic gold out of the safe can lead to a treasured Goonies return.
Nirvana was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There are infinite words for what this band has meant to American music, culture and, of course, Foo Fighters. During the ceremony at the Barclays Center, former Nirvana members Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic and Pat Smear were joined by fellow rocker Joan Jett (in place of the iconic Kurt Cobain…) for a special rendition of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
20 years later and that catchy guitar opening with the unforgettable pulse-pounding drum beat still takes your breathe away.
Last, but certainly not least, is the first video evidence of the “worlds colliding!” spin-off sitcom Girl Meets World.
Hmm, there seems to be a lot of demand and fanfare for returning to the 1990s and even the 1980s (Goonies and Goldbergs) lately…
Here’s a fascinating/mind-blowing phenomenon: For every other show, I relate to and have related to the younger characters or the 20-something or 30-something single characters. But for Girl Meets World, my connection is strictly with the parents. Cory and Topanga are now officially adults raising a daughter and a son (wow). Relating to the parents on a sitcom is brand new for me (and surely for millions of others), yet it doesn’t feel that strange. Maybe the only part is that it’s going to air on the Disney Channel, but that’s a small price to pay for the soon-to-be-viewed-glory of watching Cory and Topanga (and their friends and family…) try to act like adults and see the world through the eyes of a new generation.
Actually, as an uncle, I can relate to that.
And there’s Jimmy’s Daily Planet’s 4-11.
Jimmy's Daily Planet 