This will be an eventful weekend for stand-up comedy.

First, Aziz Ansari will be performing his new stand-up, Modern Romance, at the Palace Theatre in Columbus, Ohio. Then, on Sunday night at 10:00 p.m., Comedy Central will premiere Jim Gaffigan’s new comedy special, Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed.

Until then, it is Friday and if this blog can offer just one piece of advice for today and the weekend ahead, it’s this: avoid kale.

Need more convincing?

Okay, here you go…

His perspective on this vegetable is as sound as his perspective towards Hot Pockets.

“Hot Pockets…”

Kale, your days are numbered.