You Need to Sit Down For This

Spoiler Alert: This post contains content from the October 8, 2014 episode of The Goldbergs:

“You can have a second wedding?!”

Expressing love is a beautiful thing. This is especially true with regal pomp and circumstance, as best demonstrated by the British Royal Family in 1981 (and 2011). One of the mesmerized Americans across the pond was none other than Beverly Goldberg, admiring the exquisite attention paid to the blushing bride on her most special day in colorful clothes and a giant hat fit for a 1980-something American princess. And by Diana’s side was Charles, her strapping, romantic prince.

Then, there was Murray Goldberg, who literally sat down on a chair during his nuptials. Yes, that happened and it was recorded for all to see with perplexed wonder. But Murray is a simple man who is not a fan of wearing pants, or so he’d have you believe…

Inspired by the Royal Wedding, Beverly took her close friend’s advice and coaxed/strong-armed Murray into renewing their vows. This is when things got very interesting around the Goldberg household, specifically around the television set.

Meanwhile, Adam and his best bro Barry were busy rocking to classic ’80s hair band tunes in full ’80s hair band clothes in their garage (as it’s intended to be!). Despite the fact the one song they knew (by Barry standards) was by Twisted Sister, the top choices for their band’s name seemed to revolve around one word or name. Can you guess what it was? Here’s a hint: it rhymes with “marry” (had to). One of the suggestions was literally, “Little House on the Barry.” Actually, that is incredible! Still, it seems quite logical that their band name would have been Twisted Brothers, but maybe that was too obvious for a killer band name? It was a spectacularly awesome train wreck that, despite it’s lack of musical talent, was a show worthy of an early morning gig in the suburbs of Philadelphia.

Then, chaos slowly started to brew: Girls in a band (sister Erica and friend Lainey), a husband reciting a sitcom theme song as his wedding vows (Family Ties) and then having his wife hilariously confront her husband by claiming the theme song from The Facts of Life as her !#^%*! wedding vows.

After Barry failed again to sweep his crush Lainey off her feet, Murray (feeling guilty about his effort on his vows) consoled his oldest son by showing him the video of his nuptials…sitting down in a chair. Beverly thought it was because of a low blood sugar-type issue, but as Murray revealed to Barry, he was sitting because he was so overwhelmed by his blushing bride’s beauty and how she was completely out of his league. This was how I felt at the end of an amazing first date in the year 2000-something. We sat on a bench late at night, amusingly people watched, spoke for a little bit and then kissed under a romantic, glowing street light. The setting was perfect and so was she. Like Murray, sometimes us guys need the support of a seat to gain the strength to have an unforgettable moment with a girl who is out of our league.

Knowing deep down what he needed and wanted to do for his gorgeous wife, Murray prepared a sweet, formal ceremony at 4:00 a.m. (when Beverly set her alarm to watch the Royal Wedding) and had Pops lead her down into the backyard decorated with suburban Philadelphia style-pomp and circumstance and the family band playing “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles. He then proceeded to say his vows, from his heart, sans the help of a popular ’80s sitcom.

It was moment that, quite honestly, was out of the Royal Wedding’s league.

Here’s to every Twisted Family out there, sha-la-la-la-la!

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

(The Goldbergs Twitter)

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Posted on October 9, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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