“Okay, no cheesy pick-up lines and there’s only one rule: just 3 questions and I’ll be on my way. But you have to answer honestly. Deal?”

Guys, have you ever walked up to a girl who is so far beyond your league it’s actually funny?

No doubt it’s terrifying, nerve-racking and scary. However, if you do it enough times, you began to feel immune to the rejection and you start to feel like George Costanza in a sense with the oddly comforting internal reaction of, “Yup, that seems about right.” This is accompanied with a head shrug.

How is it done? Why does it look so easy in the movies and on television?

Probably because it says so in the script.

Nevertheless, it’s a matter of being creative, spontaneous and charming all at the same time. So, a new strategy must be constructed. An impromptu Trojan horse of sorts needs to be built to earn just a few moments with this stunningly beautiful girl from across the perfectly trimmed green lawn several feet beyond the crowded lines of food trucks.

Here we go:

Now standing next to her in a semi-crowded downtown park on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, I turned and said, “Okay, no cheesy pick-up lines and there’s only one rule: just 3 questions and I’ll be on my way. But you have to answer honestly. Deal?”

She looked at me puzzled like I was a living, breathing pop-quiz on quantum physics that she didn’t study for. Confused, she appeared willing to stick around to try to survive this unexpected situation/quiz…for about 5 seconds.

Better make this count.

“Question 1: Do you like surprises?”

“Well, yeah, what girl doesn’t?”

I subtly nodded in approval.

“Question 2: What qualities do you look for in the man of your dreams?”

“Alright…I want him to be sweet, nice, good-looking, athletic, caring, romantic, a good listener, spontaneous…”

I gently smiled, nodded my head, calmly turned and started walking away. She caught up to me after a few seconds.

“Hey, so you randomly stop me in the park to ask me questions, 3 of them actually, and then you just leave. And after only 2, by the way. Can you not count? What’s up with that?”

“You’re a good listener. I like that quality in a person too. Okay. Question 3: What’s your name?”

“(hesitant, she takes a deep breath) I’m Kaley.”

“Hi Kaley.”

I smile, then I slowly start walking away again.

“That’s it. Wha-” Strangely curious, she catches up to me once more, confused.

“Hey, where are you going, dude?”

Strolling side-by-side now, I turned to her with a look of assurance. “Well Kaley, it looks like we’re on our way to get lunch.”

She paused and, against all her might not to, she couldn’t help but smile adorably and flirtatiously roll her eyes at me.

Despite the oddness of it all, she couldn’t help but accept my stealth invitation.

“How’s that for a surprise?”

Getting a date with a beautiful girl by making her smile without an insincere, cheesy pick-up line?

Yup, that seems about right.

———————————————————————–

I suddenly woke from daydreaming at work as my head began to slip from my supportive right arm towards the Dell keyboard directly below.

After composing myself, I pondered, “would this actually work?”

Saturday is only two days away…