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A is for “As You Wish”
Spoiler Alert: Content from this blog entry was featured in the April 22, 2015 episode of The Goldbergs
During the summer in 1991, The Rocketeer flew into our imaginations with rocket-fueled fun (don’t forget about the gum). To a six-year-old, it was a spectacular time to be alive. What was better than the idea of flying like Superman, without needing Kryptonian genetics, through the skies to save the world?
The answer was nothing.
Mesmerized, I took it upon myself to scrounge through my very own tool shed/kitchen drawers to find the necessary pieces to build my own personal flying machine. With an old garage door opener in hand, I was one click away from soaring to unknown heights and adventure! This enthusiasm was shared by Adam Goldberg in last night’s episode, except his cinematic obsession was the cult favorite, The Princess Bride. Specifically, it was the film’s famous sword fight that drew him in. Fought on a dramatically set cliff, the battle was intense and immensely entertaining. And the dialogue was surprisingly equitable and conversational.
Another battle fought on a cliff of sorts was between Adam and Murray, underscored by a jockeying of similar interests and ulterior motives. Using Westley-level charm, Adam convinced his stingy dad to buy him two fencing swords to practice in his “pursuit” of becoming a future Olympic champion. Unfortunately, the overly dramatic hijinks in The Princess Bride were no match for Murray, who saw right through his son’s grand manipulation. It also didn’t help that immediately after quitting fencing, Adam was sword fighting Dave Kim in his basement in full Princess Bride gear.
Plus, stabbing your father in the neck rarely helps anything.
Meanwhile, Beverly was busy being a yenta hell-bent on cross-fitting athletics with music. The result was the sweet sound of faculty romance (and kissing at school). The only downside was ruining Barry and Erica’s lives. Oh, and can’t forget about altering the stable career path of a certain music teacher. Besides that, this social experiment was a rousing success.
In order to fix everything, Beverly had to match up the unmatchable, romantically bitter teacher in his brown clothing from head -to-toe. But if this series has taught us anything, it’s that there are three words that inspire the greatest from Beverly Goldberg:
“Can’t be done.”
Back to Adam, he would need magic that could only be found in one place. The question was whether Murray would play along. This situation called for both sides to realize to be bigger than their own self-interests, no matter how embarrassing. Adam discovered his fencing inspiration from The Princess Bride for his fencing battle in front of a large crowd at school, including his dad and grandfather sitting front row center. And would you believe it? Embodying the goofy personalities from a movie led to an unexpected point for the swordsman-in-training. And in perfect harmony with his son, Murray literally embodied a giant character’s clothes (André, to be precise) from The Princess Bride movie for a scene of bonding with his youngest son and his friends after the match.
One of Adam’s dreams came true: His father understood the importance of an influential movie in his life.
You could say it was an inconceivable reality.
Whilst engaging in misguided hilarity, Beverly did manage to match the unmatchable with a little help from a future yenta. Erica couldn’t fight it, she has meddling DNA. In this instance, Beverly’s excitement nearly reached the adrenaline level achieved at a Jazzercise session.
This episode beautifully revealed that no matter how much we may resist things that we swear to ourselves are foolish and/or ridiculous, we are uncontrollably drawn to the foolish and ridiculous because, despite all logical reasoning, we know deep down that wishes are meant to come true.
Sometimes, all it takes is clicking play on a VCR…or an old garage door opener.
Have a Little Faith on the Edge
Spoiler Alert: Content from this blog post is from the March 25, 2015 episode of The Goldbergs
Like any good sitcom, the objective is to humorously dance on the border of what’s funny and what’s not, what’s acceptable and what’s taboo. In the case of The Goldbergs last night, they literally dealt with lines of acceptable behavior in ways they haven’t before.
When it gets real, you’re gonna feel…almost as much as those lost boys from that ’80s cult classic.
“So, which boy is lost? His poor mother must be going insane.”
On more than a few occasions in our lives, we’ll get angry. In fact, we’ll get so piping mad that we’ll build everything up that’s bothering us for an explosion that would rival Pompeii. That unlucky person at the bottom better prepare for the hottest lava they’ve ever seen and thought possible. Then, it happens. Bottled up emotions are released and our message has finally gotten across to that certain someone.
Victory at last! Line = crossed.
Barry and Erica stood up to their mom’s ridiculous guilt-tripping antics. It was long overdue. In their minds, if they didn’t do something dramatic, then they had failed as children (self high-five).
The result? They stranded their über (not the car service) loving mom on the side of a road for her to walk home, until she’s rescued and dropped off by a nice police officer.
Uh oh.
The consequence? Succumbing to a bedazzling session that would make Liberace blush.
On the other side of town was Adam and Murray at a Phillies game. As is the situation at most every baseball game, the real exciting action takes place off the field. Adam, determined to prove once-and-for-all that he was in fact a man to his frustrated father, chose the all-too-familiar disgusting stadium bathroom (without decorative soaps, mind you!) as his Death Star to conquer. The only problem was Luke Adam forgot to remember where his seat was…Being lost in a stadium, before cell phones, was a terrifying ordeal. There’s literally almost nothing to do. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack., except this needle is your kid/dad and there’s a time limit with serious fears of never seeing him again.
So, what does a man do in this maze of fear?
A real man (in a split second) is able to prioritize what’s truly important in life and shut everything else out. We refrain from using whatever ammunition we had saved up for our boisterous proclamations and, instead, use our energy to make sure the other person is alright. That’s precisely what happened when Adam finally saw his dad worriedly waiting for him by the car in the cleared parking lot.
Even more important than children (11, 14 or however old they are?) obeying their parents’ sometimes absurd wishes is realizing that parents are in a similar dynamic. They can be argumentative, stern and just as capable of overreacting as their children. Ironically though, parents want exactly what their angst-filled kids want: for them to be happy, independent and to feel safe. And John Hiatt’s “Have a Little Faith in Me” was the perfect song to capture this sentiment at the end of arguably the most sincere Goldbergs episode yet.
One of the best parts about family is that they give us plenty of chances to learn this essential life lesson, with hilariously awkward moments sprinkled in bedazzled on.
It’s as awesome as high-fiving a dolphin.


